Friday, November 9, 2012

Like the country, the Yankees are headed toward the fiscal cliff

As part of the Erskine-Bowles deal that Bud "the Rug" See-Lug forced on the Yankees last year, the Steinboys decided they can spend no more than $187 million in 2014. As much as they'd love to go higher, the rules forbid it. They'll have to bank the profits and buy new horses, beach fronts and - in Hank's case - "Hooked on Phonics" tapes. It's a hard, tough decision, the kind billionaires hate to make. Nobody wants to spend more than HankHal, but  the rules are the rules are the rules. We are headed toward the fiscal cliff - and it's not Cliff Johnson.

OK, I get it. The billionaires who run MLB - (Never forget: They just claim to be millionaires, so we'll feel sorry for them) - did it again. They initiated a salary cap without ever using the phrase "salary cap." Bravo, Mr. Orwell!. It's the "luxury tax." Didn't Ronald Reagan once tout a "revenue enhancer?" Oh well, by this time next year, the Yankees will have to lop people off the payroll like the way you lop those little twist tabs for garbage bags, the ones with the little metal lopper. (OK, yeah, this isn't the best descriptive analogy ever written, but the key word is lop. Get it? They're going to "lop" payroll. Not cut. Lop.)

Listen: If we're heading over the fiscal cliff, Yankeemerica must use 2013 to rebuild.

Yeah.I know: Yankeemerica never has a rebuilding year. Yankeemerica plans to win the United Nations championship every year, and anything less is a disappointment, like Chile, blahblahblah. Thus, Yankeemerica should sign Josh Hamilton for eight years, and then let's see what $200 million does to the addict mentality! It'll be fun! Strap a camera on his back, and we can watch the show! I smell a reality show. I smell gold!

No. Yankeemerica must rebuild. Now. At the expense of this upcoming wretched, degrading year. Let me count the reasons why we have no other choice.

1. There's nobody out there to sign. We cannot even give a two-year cupcake deal to Torii Hunter. But why would we. He's fading fast. How much worse will Chris Dickerson be? Besides, everybody wants five years. We cannot give five years. So don't even bother. There's nobody out there who'll make a difference. 

2. If we must remake the 2013 team with trades, we're sunk. Guess what happens when Cashman deals: We give up Austin Jackson, Ian Kennedy, Tyler Clippard, Jesus Montero (who is still going to be a great hitter) Phil Coke and others. They always want our kids. They don't want our garage sales. There is no 1960 Kansas City Athletics, who will trade us the moon for Jerry Lumpe. We are not going to trade ourselves into the 2013 World Championship.

3. All our top prospects could be ready in 2014 - unless we trade them for a 1980's style horror show - the John Mayberrys, the Jesse Barfields, et al. We could have a wave of young players - they might even sip a cup of coffee next September. They could remake the team. We must think of that new era. 

4. We are a graying, aging walrus of a franchise - but still a crap shot. Show of hands: Who expected Jeter to hit .300 this year? Aha! Don't see many arms up. We still have enough veteran talent to win 85 games. And never discount the chance that Arod has one more good year in him. Not MVP, but 30 HRs and .300. We can chase a Wild Card at least into mid-September. Maybe grab an Ichiro at the all-star break. We can rebuild and stay competitive, relatively speaking.

5. Finally, we gotta spend some yen, or shekels, or Euros, or whatever, on the international market. Come in, Rangoon. Listen: I love Kuroda. I'd welcome him back. But if he goes, he goes. Don't sign a 34 year old replacement. Get that 19 year old Japanese kid who throws 100 mph. Cook the books overseas, and spend the money in foreign currency. We just finally dumped Nardi Contreras as minor league pitching instructor. Maybe the new guy, Gil Patterson, will have better luck - because we sure hadn't none with Contreras.

We must look past this season. My friends, Yankeemerica is headed for the fiscal cliff. But we can either go back to 1993... or 1965. We can be down for a year or down for a decade. We're getting old. The sea levels are rising. If we go down for another decade, a lot of us might not be there to see us come out of it.


John M said...

So Lohud says...

'Brian Cashman said he has not heard officially, but based on his conversations with the agents for Hiroki Kuroda, Nick Swisher and Rafael Soriano, he expects all three to decline their qualifying offers. Scott Boras has made it clear to Cashman that Soriano will decline.'

Well, if Soriano isn't going to be the closer, he won't resign with us. Which is good, because he's a head case as a setup man.

I like Kuroda. But he's getting to be one old pitcher-san. Injuries have to be around the corner.

And with Swisher gone, we can use the nickname 'Swish' for Granderson. Progress marches on.

Anonymous said...

Screw Lohud! Comment section is a disgrace.

John M said...

Lohud is good for hearing the straight party line. Don't read the comments. It makes you blind.