Friday, November 30, 2012

The best Fat Jete jokes aren't very funny

The NY Post is congratulating itself for this morning's photos of Fat Jete by announcing that its pictures have "set the Twitterverse alight" with jokes.

It prints three. 

Now, hang with me here: If you were the guy assigned to the story, wouldn't you pick the three funniest Fat Jete jokes? I mean, you're talking about setting the Twitterverse alight. And remember: We're all brothers atop Mt. Murdoch, so you want your best joke forward.


Looks to me like they almost got that magic third joke. 

The first two, OK. 
The third was Colter Bean.

So, with the bar considerably lower than usual...

They say Jete's not only juicing, he's milk-shaking.
Wow! Jete really crushed that ball. He sat on it.

When Jete steps in the bucket, at least he's emptied it of chicken.

You hear about Jete's new girlfriend? Minka Jelly.

When Jete sees a fat pitch, he relates to it.

Nobody throws cheese past Jete anymore. They know he let it go by.

Jete is crowding the plate. Not only that, he's crowding the whole stadium.
That pitch was right in Jete's wheelhouse! I'm sorry, I meant his "warehouse."
 Jete covers a lot of ground at shortstop. And sometimes, he moves around, too.

When a pitcher sends Jete some chin music, he has to specify which chin.

It looks like Girardi wants Jete to sacrifice... lunch, that is.

Home run! And Jete will touch 'em all... at the same time!

It is high, it is far, it is... gone! El Capitan downs another burrito!


Alphonso said...

On the 6th lame joke, the tag line should be, " they know he'll eat it up."

Alphonso said...

On the 6th lame joke, the tag line should be, " they know he'll eat it up."

Jimmy Two Times said...

The papers, the papers.

John M said...

As Jete himself has been known to say, leave the glove, take the canoli.