Tuesday, May 14, 2013

As The Draft Approaches, Let's look In on Some of our Loot.

Top Prospect Gary Sanchez continues to build his skills.  Last week, he hit another HR and picked up 5 RBIs in six games.  He is hitting .268 but has 27 RBIs.  In A ball.

Zolio Almonte - a bit of a slide last week for this 23 year old outfielder.  Average dropped to .272.  He has yet to put back to back good weeks.  Inconsistent.

Dante Bichette- a top draft pick for us.  Each week his numbers get worse and worse.  37K's leads the league in ineptitude.  Only to be offset by his .173 batting average and .231 OBP.  Time to trade this guy in for a resin bag.  Nice work Cashman.

Mark Montgomery _ this RHP continues to dominate AAA competition, and continues to be overlooked when they bring guys up.  Not sure why.

Angelo Gumball ( Gumbs )- this second baseman was hitting .088 when he went on the DL.  Where he remains.  Imagine that he is a top ten prospect for us.  Are we nuts?

Ty Hensley - Looks like this number one selection won't be back in 2013.  Only surgeries for labrum damage and a bad hip.  Otherwise, a top prospect for Staten Island in 2016.

Manny Banuelos - He is a surgical marvel  Always in the OR and never heals.  Perfect.  See this guy pitch when he is 35.

Dellin Bettances ( not actually a prospect;  he is included because Banuelos is always on the DL) - your all going to say that his move to the bullpen will rejuvenate him.  He remains a giraffe.  And, because he is linked to the "Killer B's" he is, by definition, a failure.

Slade Heathcott - great name, but excels at the strikeout.. eight times in four games this week.  Sounds like the Curtis Granderson of AA ball.  Here's what the professionals say about him:  " Any improvement for Heathcott is a step forward."  Wow.  Is that what they said about Mantle?

Tyler Austin - another week where this, " Mr. Average ( as in .250 singles hitter )," didn't do great but he didn't do awful.  But the 39 strikeouts are not an asset.  This young man may grow old in Trenton.

Mason Williams - my favorite flop.  Our top outfield prospect, playing in A ball is steadily batting himself toward the Mendoza line.  I think he is destined to be a bartender.  If he is our top prospect, the franchise is doomed.

In Summary:

Basically, we have a pitcher and a catcher for our money...er, the Steinbrenner's money.  After the draft, expect the following for our three first round selections:

two surgeries
one disappearance ( has anyone ever heard from Cito?)


Guy Fawkes and the Anonymous Corps said...


We will be in the Lower Deck. If you hit, attempt to brush back, or even look cross-eyed at one of our batters, we will be on the field and your sorry ass, crooked baseball cap and overblown ego will be in the hospital. TAKE NOTICE FELIX. YOU PUNK ASS.

Joba "the Headhunter" Chamberlain said...

Fans, you might notice that this evening the vistors' uniforms will have bullseyes, not numbers, on the back. A splendid time is guaranteed for all. SSHHH!

John M said...

If only Youk played for the Mariners. Sigh.

A word about OF prospect Mason Williams. As we know, Mason Williams recorded the proto-symphonic rock instrumental favorite 'Classical Gas.' Perhaps this is a sign. Take him out of the infield and make him a pitcher. Can't be worse than most of the other guys who were supposed to be top prospects.

Does Hal have a Suggestion Box?

el duque said...

Robert Refsnyder:

Second year in pro ball, promoted to Tampa, batting .381.

The New Hope.

Anonymous said...

Hey, didn't Robert Refsnyder star in "The Natural"? Maybe that was a documentary?

Masonry Heaters, RHP, Scranton RumpRangers said...

Yeah, Refsnyder is batting.381, but my ERA is 2.37 and I am better looking (hear that, Suzyn?).

Anonymous said...

I'd Rick Ankiel any pitcher prospect that didn't work out and make them earn their pay and I'd turn any outfielder that couldn't hit into a pitcher to do likewise and if they get injured doing it, it'll just open up a spot on the roster.

Anonymous said...


Guy Fawkes and the Anonymous Corps said...

Where is Felix Hernandez tonight? IN THE HOSPITAL. We put the bad JuJu on you, Felix. Remember the guys in the car that cruised past the hospital where Don Corleone was recovering? Yeah, well those guys are on the way to see YOU at the hospital. Michael Corleone and Enzo the Baker aren't going to be out front scaring those guys away. They are looking for you, they aren't Mariners fans, and they aren't going to ask for autographs.