Sunday, May 26, 2013

The end is near... or can Yankee super-clutch megahero Lyle Overbay play the outfield?

They've made a trilogy out of "Before Sunrise," the Ethan Hawk/Julie Delpy chick-flick where a Disney-faced couple meets and decide they've got 12 hours to concoct a romance for eternity, so they go Stephen Hawking on each other, groping like geckos, while contemplating the meaning of Everything, such as Lysol, bursitis and the difference between Eddie Money and Johnny Cash. And basically, that sums up my feelings about Lyle Overbay.

Soon, he's going to go Julie Delpy on us, leaving our lives forever, and until that moment comes, we need to fix his Dudley Dooright dimple into our minds, and hear what he thinks about global warming, and tell him all we know about how groovy life is and - OK, that's enough, you get the picture, right? How deep into this well do I have to climb? Anyway, time is running out. Tick tock. Soon, Lyle is going to get the Cashman handshake in exchange for his locker key, and good grief, is there any way to stop this from happening? Because Ethan Hawk sure did. He thought: Indie production company... trilogy!

Well, Lyle didn't put up a trilogy for us yesterday, but two out of three aint bad. He worked a walk with two outs in the ninth - the kind of AB we haven't seen since Paul O'Neill - starting a rally, and then homered to win it. An Overbayan victory. Doesn't get any better. Yet in the grand scheme, yesterday was just another movement on the clock that ends his Yankee romance.

As soon as Mark Teixeira and Kevin Youkilis return, Lyle is a dead man - no role on the team beyond third 1B ... unless... (this was suggested yesterday at River Ave Blues)... can he play outfield?
I say, WHY NOT? We can't just show him the door. Ethan Hawk wouldn't do that. Neither should Cashman. We need a plan. We need a strategy. Can somebody fake an injury? Can we hire Overbay for the YES booth? Wait... I got it... have him join John and Suzyn! If he can't talk, maybe he can read ad text.

Gotta think of something. It can't just end this way. Think, everybody, think: Bench coach? LOOGY? Can he take Reggie Jackson's job, whatever that is? What would Ethan do?


John M said...

Keep in mind, Ethan Hawke is kind of a dick, and Cashman is Cashman, so let's not think of what either would do here.

But you raise an interesting possibility here:

"As soon as Mark Teixeira and Kevin Youkilis return, Lyle is a dead man..."

You know in The Producers (please, the original with Zero and Gene), how Springtime for Hitler is an unexpected hit? And Zero latches onto Kenneth Mars' idea to kill the audience? They muff it, of course, and end up in jail (selling thousands of percent of Prisoners of Love to investors), but...


I mean, does Lyle have to be the one to be a dead man? OK, OK, dead may be a bit much, but a broken bone or two could keep Tex and Youk rooting from their wheelchairs while Lyle and Vernon lead us into the Series in October.

Actually, since Ethan and Cash are both kind of dicks, maybe they could get a little money together and make sure we don't have to face these personnel issues at all.

Just an idea. And they could sell thousands of percent of Prisoners of Love even if they get caught. Everyone wins.

John M said...

And another game today that proves CC is an ace. As long as he's on a team that scores 1,000 runs. Preferably per game.


Anonymous said...

Can't be worse than Damon was in left field towards the end.

Anonymous said...

Anyone else notice Francisco got DFA'd?

bennyboy said...

Ethan would break both of Tex's legs, Michael Corleone style.