Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Yankeetorial: A-Rod steps outside his pod and draws immediate fire from the watchdogs of socio-economic justice

However we feel about Alex Rodriguez, can we agree that yesterday, the man did something nice? He was the lone rehabbing player down in the Tampa clinic - the Yankee Hebrew Home at Riverside-South - to step outside the security fence and sign autographs for fans. He did this for about 30 minutes.

It drew reporters the way a melted popsicle attracts ants. Naturally, the brotherhood of the brood noted how A-Rod is old, feeble and no longer worth all that money the Steinbrothers foisted upon him several years ago. And they noticed his big shiny car.

Yes, his car. If A-Rod ever saves a baby from a burning building, they'll write about the car. (After questioning what he was doing there.) Some excerpts from yesterday:

Times: [He] arrived with a driver in a Cadillac Escalade. And minutes after his arrival, someone else drove his black Maybach 57S into the lot... The fact that only Rodriguez chose to stand and sign autographs at the gates of the facility while photographers clicked away gave off the appearance of a somewhat calculated public relations move.

NY Post: Rodriguez got into his Maybach, a vehicle that sells for about $416,000, and was off —

Newsday: As soon as A-Rod began doing things on a baseball field -- as he did Monday, fenced off from reporters and passersby -- the Yankees got dragged back into his drama-filled existence all over again.

MLB.com:  He showed up in a white sweater and khaki pants, and left about three hours later in his Maybach 57 S...

I know, I know, I know... it's just details, it's just sportswriters, it's just A-Rod... the planet's most overpaid and indefensible human being, after Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump. And last year, the International Congress of Yankee Fans passed a resolution mandating that all public references to A-Rod include:

1. A brief list of the players we could sign if not for A-Rod's contract.

2. The fact that he'll never hit like he did.

3. That, except for the 2009 post-season, he never hit in the clutch.

4. He hangs with floozies.

5. He uses big words and thinks he's really smart.

6. He must have been juicing. How else would his name appear on a notepad in that Miami clinic? 

7. The Yankees secretly hope he never comes back.

8. If MLB can ban him, George's boys might escape paying him.

9. Even if acts humble, he's not fooling us.

10. He drives a shiny, fancy car. He thinks he's big.

Listen: They're all egomaniacs. The all drive gas-guzzlers. They all hang with bimbos. They all read their clippings. The smart ones act humble, but they're not.

You pay your money, and you get to boo.  You buy the paper, and you get to read what the sportswriter thinks. But one question for the Yankiverse, and I hope we don't overlook it.

Is it right to blame a guy for growing old?

Is it right to boo a guy for being hurt?

OK, sorry. That's two questions. Didn't mean to get complicated. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm taking my Maybach 57S to Aldis to buy a can of dogfood.


John M said...

Remember how Giambi tore up the league when he was with Oakland before he got to the Yankees? And how he deteriorated on the Yankees and was injured a whole lot and never really hit like he used to? And then it turns out he was juicing (shock!) but stopped when he was with the Yankees? And how juicers get all these injuries and their offense tanks a while after they stop the juice?

I'm not saying it's the whole story and I hate how much everyone picks on the guy, unlovable though he is, but, I mean. You know.

SanJoseKid said...

Apologies for being the perennial reactionary on these kinds of things. However, if a guy wore pinstripes and won a few games for the Yanks, I give him the benefit of the doubt. Irrational, but rooting for a team usually is. Each Bronx Bomber (Mike Kekich, Fritz Peterson, Doc Ellis) brought something special to the clubhouse (do I sound like Sterling?). All I know is that my wife and I witnessed (in person) Pay-Rod hit a walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the ninth against the Orioles. She and I agree it is our best baseball memory, Pay-Rod rounding the bases and everyone around us screaming and nearly falling out of the mezzanine deck. Thanks, A-Rod. Yup. It was in April.

KD said...

I remember a 15 inning 0-0 game that ARod won with a nice homer. I cheered. we all cheered. His car? give me a break. It is equivalent to his salary, as my 20 year old Honda Civic is to my salary. George offered him all that money to return. was he supposed to refuse it? would any of us have refused it?

Alphonso said...

I have a 12 year old toyota and would love to hang with Bimbos.

Seems I am lacking something.

But I love the Yankees. All of them.

Even Jason Jynx.

KD said...

Alphonso, you got the cool shades, a new car (by my standards), the bling, and the Jack. What else do these women want?