Tonight's moon phase: WANING CRESCENT


Thursday, May 9, 2013

Did Vernon Wells just have his Giambi grandslam moment as a Yankee?

The ancient storytellers say that on May 17, 2002, the tragic hero named Jason became a Yankee Argonaunt for eternity. It happened in the 14th inning of what appeared to be a soul-stealing defeat to the fearsome Twins. A pitcher called Sterling Hitchcock had surrendered three runs, and the Yankee ship was taking water. 

Shane led off with a single. Alphonso hit a pop fly. Jeet singled, and Bernie drew a walk. Jason - aged 31 and still creaking from his "Welcome to NY" slump - hit a grand slam that will be remembered forever on official Yankee bottle openers, as called by the blind poet John Sterling. From then on, through peaks and valleys, Jason was a Yankee - and trust me, there were valleys. But the bonding was forever. The Pinstripes were seared into Jason's soul, and he will return some day...  or so the story goes...

"The Bronx is" Vernon Wells entered last night's game with a sinking average and a sinking feeling that the Angels had seen his future, and right before our eyes, the man was transforming lycanthropically into Andruw Jones. He homered in the first, then scored the go-ahead run in the ninth. Then - because the Yankees have severely misjudged their roster - Vernon played 3B and threw out a runner at first. It was every bit as cool as Giambi's slam. 

Does it make Wells a forever Yankee? Hard to say. But if the ball had gone through his legs, it might have signaled Brian Cashman's ultimate embarrassment: A $200 million team that cannot field a lineup. Juju cannot help a team with only seven positions.

Brooks Wells saved our butts last night. He has already outlasted the nobodies we gave up to get him: Exicardo Cayones and Kramer Sneed. (Unfortunately, the player we had to drop from the roster, David Adams, is the 3B we are waiting on.) But Curtis Granderson is heading to Scranton, and he won't stay long. His arrival will likely signal the end of Brennan Boesch, another hero of last night. It means less ABs for Wells, who could platoon with Travis Hafner. Grandy's return won't help the Yankees where they need it - infield depth.

There are valleys yet to come. The Angels prophesy still looms. But six or seven years from now, at Yankee Stadium's Old-Timers Day, John Sterling will call out Vernon Wells, and on an eternal tape loop, you will see him playing 3B. He probably won't wear a NY cap into Cooperstown, but at least a part of Vernon Wells - the thirdbaseman - will always be a Yankee. Last night, he became the Verniambino.


joe de pastry, who can't believe Jason Nix was intentionally walked! said...

When Grandy comes back cut Francisco and make Suzuki the 4th outfielder/defensive replacement.

Alphonso said...

When Grandy comes back key him be a pinch runner. Why screw up the chemistry of this s Ralph bunch with an overpaid player who mostly strikes out.

Make him earn his way onto the field.

John M said...

When Grandy comes back trade him for a small handful of good young players.

Oh, sorry, forgot this is the Yankees.

Trade him for a couple of washed up lugnuts who can't run or play the field anymore, or are prone to injuries.

There, that's better.

John M said...

This just in:

Top 4th: Indians 6, Athletics 0
The Indians jumped all over A's starter Bartolo Colon, adding a trio of runs in the second after Jason Kipnis' homer got things going in the first.

Bartolo getting his colon reamed. Now's the time to trade for him, his value is low.

KD said...

Pitcher batting 8th. Outfielder playing 3B. Good grief. Yes, we did win but is this any way to run a team barely into the second month of the season? What next? If Swish were still with us, he'd probably have Joba's middle relief position..

Joe Girardi, Manager of the 27 and a half times World Champion New York Yankees said...

Hah! You ain't seen nothin' yet! Next week, Andy Pettitte bats cleanup (and in an American League park!), and Robinson Cano catches. The weirder, the better! I'm a fuckin' midwestern genius!

Leinstery said...

When Grandy comes back he should definitely shoot a porno with Suzyn, get some damn energy back into the Lowes broadcast booth.

Anonymous said...

el duque or whatever your name is, you definately are very good at slamming people playing a game that you probably a complete failute in. So instead you hide behind a phony name with no picture and make jokes that only your drunkin friends would laugh at. Keep up the shitty work

The REAL Anonymous (not some punk text-messager) said...

Hah ha! Hey, Anonymous, Duque is a distinguished professional who shall remain a mystery man to you. (Hint: he works at the White House!). But, we bloggers on this site remain interested in your opinions despite the fact you cannot spell. I will admit, however, that a couple of Duque's friends are a wee bit tipsy . . . .