Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Yankees are about to become the most ungrateful team in sports, and I am now dreading the return of the superstar lineup

Damn. I feel like the cad who falls for his best friend's fiance, while the guy is off at the Star Fleet Academy. I keep telling myself, "No, this is NOT happening! I'll break it off! I'm am not falling for Brian's girl!" Then the girl - her name is Lyle - homers in the seventh, and you can't take your eyes off her, and later, you're together in the back of team bus, and you're tearing the buttons from her jersey and-

OK, you get my point, right? I'm in love with Lyle Overbay! There! I've said it! The forbidden truth! We want to get married! We want to adopt! But his boyfriend's back, and there's gonna be trouble, hey-na, hey-na...

Listen: It's weird, rooting for this Yankee team. It's unlike anything we have seen since 1994. It's like 1983, the crash year, except we're winning.

Last night, Lyle, Travis Hafner and Vernon Wells stole another victory with the kind of clutch hitting that, frankly, our big stars failed to furnish over the last three years. The A-Rod menagerie always put together big numbers, and we made the playoffs - but they were always a disappointment, never as good as they should be, because nobody hit with runners on base.

Now this. Overbay is on a course to hit 20-25 homeruns and hit .255 - which is about what we'd get from Mark Teixeira (OK, maybe 30-35 and .240). Hafner would smack 30, and Wells, 35 - but folks, it aint gonna happen, because in another month, Joe Girardi will be rationing ABs like bottled water after an earthquake. As for David Adams? He'll be back on the DL - the Demoralized List - in Scranton, with Brennan Boesch, Corbin Joseph, Vidal Nuno, Austin Romine and maybe Eduardo Nunez.

In about two weeks, Teixeira and Kevin Youkilis return. Shy of a suspicious series of airport restroom accidents, there is no way Overbay can stay a Yankee. We will salute him as he walks out the door - to Boston, Baltimore or Tampa, wherever - knowing that the most serendipitous Yankee acquisition since Aaron Small - the girl we've come to love - will soon play against us. And then... what will we become?

The old baseball rule says you can't lose your job to an injury. I accept that. It's not Teixeira's fault that his wrist popped. But the old pessimistic fan in me says Tex will come back slow, cost us a few games, then finally start hitting and - pop - there's goes the wrist, and this time, he'll need an operation.

Same with Youk. It's not his fault that his back feels like he sleeps on a bed of nails. But the old doomsdayer in me says he'll come back slow, cost us a few games, then finally start hitting and - ohhh - this time, gone for the season.

A-Rod? You know the drill. By then, David Adams will have languished in Scranton for two months, and whatever magic this team captured in May - well - we can remember it and smile in September.

It's amazing: I am literally dreading the return of the superstar Mega-Yankees. 

Last night, Curtis Granderson came up in a critical situation. In his signature move, he struck out on a 3-2 pitch that was above his nose, then marched skillfully back to the dugout, shaking his head. By my estimation, we have about 150 Grandy strikeouts to track through between now and October. Each will be more maddening than in the past, because he'll be taking ABs from Hafner and Wells. For a while, we'll have seen another option.

I don't claim to know what Cashman can do. Frankly, this has been his greatest spring as a general manager. For us fans though, the Yankees have always been an affair of the heart. That's why we are so irrational and impulsive. I make no excuses for my rants and behavior. But this is one pain I can see coming. We're about to have our hearts broken.


John M said...

I'm watching the highlights on espn.com and crying in my corn flakes. This is a team that has the mix of hungry, something-to-prove veterans and kids that makes for magical seasons. Kids who are ready for the big time but will never get past the rusty has-beens with bazillion dollar contracts, the old men who have nothing to prove and play like it (OK, Jeter is a big exception). Or just can't play much anymore (sorry, Tex, you're a good egg but a lousy hitter these days).

This isn't the first time this has happened, and it probably won't be the last. But this time, for some reason, it hurts more.

Tom said...

let grandy and tex watch from the bench til they prove they are better than what we got out there.

Anonymous said...

Good post but you're forgetting as was the case in the Moneyball movie that the biggest reason the Yankees are so successful this year is because of their clutch pitching. I would love to see both Tex and Jeter (a truly clutch hitter) back in the line-up vs. Overbay and ??? A-Rod is a completely different story. They can win this year without him or his huge salary.

joe de pastry says bench Suzuki said...

Granderson, Gardner, Wells in the outfield. What's the problem with that?
Hafner will get hurt again before Tex comes back, so Overbay will becomes the lefty DH, and Youk the righty DH and part-time 1B with Tex and 3B with Adams until he gets hurt again. Then A-Fraud will come back and stink, so Girardi will bench him again when Youk comes back.
As long as the pitching is really good, they might actually be playing in October.

Alphonso said...

I have been saying the same thing for weeks. We will get worse as every "star" returns and, per usual, fails to hit in the clutch. It will be homer or lights out.

Grander son is already proving to be a negative. He can't field in left or center, and all he does is strike out or hit into DPs.

Fans will come to hate everyone but Derek.

I have hated pukilis from day one. If they release Overbay, I am gone, too.

Paul said...

Sorry I never liked Aaron Small he pitched well down the stretch but you knew all along he'd be the pitching version of Shane Spencer. Quick production when needed then back to his shitty self