Thursday, May 30, 2013
Posted by el duque at 7:22 AM
OK, first... seriously, does anyone reading this NOT believe we will be swept and embarrassed tonight by the lone franchise in sports that can run a direct timeline from Choo Choo Coleman to Ike Davis? Because I sure do. You can feel it. You can smell it. We deserve to be mocked and humiliated, and I say, dammitall, let's take our medicine like honorable Yankee fans - that is, screaming and wailing, and using our children as bullet shields.
But... cheer up, everybody. It's almost Youxeira Day! Gifts, candy and DHs lying beneath the Youxeira Tree, singing Youxeira carols, courtesy of the Youexeira Bunny! And don't forget the Ball Drop at Midnight!
Only one more loss - let's get it behind us quickly, like last night - and then we can waive the no-name infield - wait, better idea: send them to Scranton! - and go back to what the Yankees do best: Under-achieving!
Yes, we're going from Overbaying to overpaying. No more Reid Brignac at SS. No more "The Bronx is Vernon" Wells batting third. They are Mudhens who dreamed they were Yankees, and it was wonderful, but now it's time to wake up and find a bus line home to Toledo. That's because tomorrow - ahhh, tomorrow - the skies turn blue, the birds sing, and we welcome to our pinstriped breasts the Rehab Class of 2013: Youk and Tex. Can't you wait to see the lineup?
Bronx is Vernon
The Ichy, Nix and Stew crew
Yes, we're still dead as granite through the bottom third. I think even Ichiro knows the truth about Ichiro. But no matter what happens tonight, we made it. We got to the emergency room before the chest pains took over. Take a day off, Mr. Overbay, Mr. Adams. You earned it. Happy Youxeira Day, everybody! Who wants to cut the cake?