Thursday, June 15, 2017

Another rotten, good-for-nothing West Coast swing

I hate West Coast swings. Nothing good ever happens. (Personal theory: We should blame California, not Canada, for the spawning of Justin Bieber.) The Yanks can be MLB's best team - as they were last week. Send them out to the perfumed shadow of Kim and Kanye, and they crap the futon. Every time. The only positive West Coast swing I can recall came in 2003, when a recently benched Raul Mondesi refused to fly on the Yankee plane. Days later, we dealt him for David Dellucci, Bret Prinz and somebody named Jon-Mark Sprowl. The West Coast ruins everyone. Out there, toilets flush backwards, and people secretly like disco. California gave us kale, 8-Minute Abs videos, piece-of-shit electronics and Jar Jar Binx. Never forget. 

Thus far, only three days into our California nightmare:

1. We have lost CC Sabathia for at least four weeks. Probably six.

2. We have butchered two entirely winnable games against a team that was below .500, a light year behind Houston, without its best player.

3. We have watched Michael Pineda revert to Jeez Montero status, blowing a 4-0 early lead, and reminding us of how quickly our rotation can fray. In a game we desperately needed, following CC's injury, Big Mike floated a turd. (And yes, we can start reassessing the trade again: Montero, now of the Norfolk Tides, is 4 for 18 on the season, after returning from a juicer suspension.) 

4. We have managed to let our bullpen so implode that Joe turned to Ronald Herrera - a rookie starter just up from Double Ain the seventh with the game tied. WTF? I can see the kid used in a blowout or early situation. Debuting with the game on the line? Holy crap, how fried are we?

5. We have watched Boston quietly climb to two games behind us. For the whole first third of the season, they have been playing rope-a-dope.

We now do four against the wretched A's, a team even more miserable than the Angels. Mark my words: Nothing good can come of this. Meanwhile, back in Scranton, Greg Bird is floundering, creating a situation that we thought was impossible: We are actually missing Mark Teixeira's .210 batting average. Four days ago, we ruled everything. Now, we're stuck in a line at Disneyland. It's a small world, after all. Excuse me. I gotta eat my kale.


John M said...

So, Dutch Fan...about the rising waters...

John M said...

Pineda, Pineda, Pineda...well, nobody is an ace every time out. But the sputtering offense is more reason for concern. If we scored 8 to 16 runs every game, none of our pitching problems would be a problem.

5 runs. How the hell are we expected to win with only 5 runs?


13bit said...

I would have killed for 5 runs a game at almost any time over the last3 or 4 years. We will hit again. We may even pitch again - once in a while - maybe - uh - I don't know...

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...

Were I not already suicidal, your missives (such as this one) would lead me to decide to walk in front of a freight train.

Thanks an F-load lot!

Alphonso said...

The Yanks are also committing suicide here.

Suicide by pitcher.

Suicide by bullpen.

Suicide by failing in the clutch.

Suicide by strike out.

We are below .500 on the road this year. 15-16, I think, is the line.

DutchFan said...

Anonymous said...

Hey, when do we get our chance to beat up the Fill-thies? When do the Sux play someone good (other than us)? We beat the feces outta the Sux, and those dildoes are still around us like a watery fart. Damn those west-coast trips. Fucking Pineda; bad time to revert back to Mike Pineda. WTF was Joe thinking of with putting a raw egg in to give a winnable game away. Made no sense. What, we got nobody at Scranton available? If pen is toast, then get Mitchell. What, was the shuttle grounded? Bus outta gas? Instead he reaches to Trenton. Makes the kid use plane, train, and automobile to perform marathon to ballpark and throws him in as soon as he steps off the bus. Asshole way to give up a game.

Anonymous said...

Let's face it, Big Mikey is a head-case; he can't deal with adversity. He needs to talk with El Duque, the First - - Orlando Hernandez - - bigly needs to. Sad and sick.

Joey Blue-Binders is the biggest head-case of all in the Yankiverse (barring, of course, the Front Office): I swear he costs us more games per season than our entire bullpen. I quit watching last night after Mikey jerked that slider and let in the go-ahead run - - so I only heard about what Joey did later - - but in my heart, I knew something bad and conflicted was coming from the Fake Manager (so to speak). LB (No J)

Joe F said...

Heard that Tyler Austin kid is it's doing pretty good.... -_-