Monday, June 5, 2017

Uh-oh. Here come the Golden State Warriors of baseball

Spoiler alert: By Friday, the Redsock '17 Hall of Fame Superteam of Destiny (TM) will be leading in the AL East. Their three-game sweep of the Yankees - back to back to back, and belly to belly to belly - will be especially overwhelming, having desecrated the House the Randy Levine Built. David Price's final game shutout will herald the proud and righteous franchise's return to first. We will be humiliated.

What? You were expecting optimism? Sorry, pal. Hope Week is over, and let's face it: No two words embody mastery of the Yankees more than "Drew Pomeranz." Though they no longer have Big Papi, and Li'l Papi has a wrist thingy - (which did in the Cooperstown-bound Garciappara) - when you face a lineup with Babe Benintendi and Jackie Yazstremski Jr. - well, let's start watching Seattle scores, because they're the Wild Card competition. By Friday, 2017 will be over. I mean, ovah

Boston has Chris Sales. Did you know that? It's true. They have Chris Sales. They obtained him in the off-season, when they outwitted everybody and traded Yoan Moncada - YOAN MONCADA, SLOOOOOWLY I TURNED... - to officially become the Golden State Warriors of baseball. Holy shit, I almost forgot to mention that they are the Golden State Warriors of baseball. (In case you don't follow the NBA, being the Golden State Warriors of baseball means you are very good.) Not only that, but they have Chris Sales!

It was nice being in first. We've led since May 21, when CC beat Chris Archer and Tampa Bay. At one point, we had a three-game lead. Now comes the aftermath. As sure as Rusney Castillo is raking in Pawtucket - (.270 with 7 HRs for the $70 million man (Note: In 2019, he has an opt out clause in his $11 million per year contract) - we are doomed. DOOMED. Holy shit, everybody, run. It's Drooooooo Pomeranz.

9 comments:

Local Bargain Jerk said...


All that you say makes sense, particularly considering that we should have won yesterday.

John M said...

Yesterday was heartbreaking. Sevvy was great, minus one fat pitch. As for Girardi, I ask, why Ty? He's not the guy. He made us sigh, and quickly cry.

Oh my oh my.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Twas fun while it lasted,,,,,,,,

Anonymous said...

WE'RE GONNA WIN 2 OUT OF 3.

Vampifella said...

Juju? With this article they'll end up sweeping Boston? Nah, no way that could happen!

It's pretty easy to predict what will happen though unless they magically get some pitching to help them out. After the O's this weekend (and at least a 5 game loss total for this week), they should win nearly every game against the A's, Angels, Rangers and White Sox to be back in first place. And then they'll get swept by the Astros and loose at least half of their games to the Blue Jays and Brewers.

By the All-Star game they'll probably end up in a near 4-way tie with the rest of the American League East aside from the Rays who'll surely bottom out by then.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


My understanding of the 2017 NYYs (and I acknowledge it might well be INFERIOR to your understanding) is that -- well, I just don't know what is gonna happen.

I didn't see Aaron Judge happening.
I didn't see Aaron Hicks staying with the team past May 15.
I had no idea Greg Bird was fibbing about his physical condition (OK, YOU DID!).
I thought your black swan was a pigeon (still do).

Among the things I don't know about in the near future are:
-- will they send Tanaka to the bullpen? The rotation has been pretty good without him lately, hasn't it? Might they "take a Chance" on Chance?
-- will Ellsbury have to take a lot more time off? I'm not sure that hurts the team.
-- will The Evil Crazy Girlfriend-Strangling, Garage-Shooting Reliever come back healthy?
-- will Headley take the Threat of Gleyber seriously, and play better? Or just vanish, traded to Kansas City for a pair of slightly used jockstraps?

Perhaps when they were trailing Baltimore 9-to-1 (that was April 28, 40 days ago), you saw them coming back to win 14-11. Maybe you saw that coming. I sure as heck didn't.

You don't have to humble yourself totally to admit that anything that comes next (a sweep BY Boston or a sweep OF Boston) cannot be anticipated.

13bit said...

Luckily, I came into this season with very low expectations. ALL of which have been surpassed by this point. Even if we went .500 for the rest of the season, nay - even if we won 3 out of every 10 games, it has already been a Joggy Cano victory lap. This Yout Movement has pulled me out of my torpor and back to the sizzling tube. Well, it's not a cathode ray tube anymore, it's a cool liquid crystal display, but my nose has been directed to it for Yankees games for the first time in three years. I have never NOT been a Yankee fan, but I have been, how would they say in the fairy tales? I have been sleeping. They have pulled me back. As long as they don't trade the farm, I have hope again for the future. Let's not get too excited about the standings this year. Let's not get sucked into temporary fantasies - that's the bailiwick of NY Jets fans. Let's enjoy the moments, savor the victories and learn from the defeats. Let's pray for Randy Levine to end up on the open market for potential NYC bus drivers. Let's enjoy that most precious of commodities - hope. The future is friendly. Every win is a gift. At least we are learning to hit again.

Anonymous said...

Have to agree with duque: we're gonna' get wiped; why?? Joey Blue-Binders. That's at least a two-run disadvantage late in games. Period. Hard to overcome. Might as well not even play these games. Screw it - - I'm not gonna' watch us getting mowed down, travel ban, or no - - we have to stop being politically correct: FUKKIT!! LB(No J)

John M said...

I still have a big, beautiful, cathode ray television, and I hope it never dies. Flat screens look...well...pretty flat, especially with movies. Make them look like they were all shot on "Dark Shadows" era video, cheesy sets included.

Perhaps what Joe Formerly of Brooklyn is trying to say is, you can't predict baseball.

Joey Binders causes us to lose roughly five games every season. Maybe more. Not less.