Friday, June 30, 2017

Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again...


They shouldn't have played the game. Assholes. They waited nearly three hours, three fucking hours, until hardly anybody remained in the shit hole known as Guaranteed Rate Field. They did it to save money, obviously. It's always about money.  When you play in a place called Guaranteed Rate Field, can there be any other consideration than money? 

They shouldn't have played the game... 

I still feel sick this morning. And I'm pissed. It ain't right. Dustin Fowler didn't deserve this. Who the hell is running this universe? Is this somebody's idea of a joke? Bring up an innocent young player, mire him in traffic for 90 minutes while racing to the game, make him wait for nearly three hours for the most exciting moment of his life and then... this? He never even comes to bat? No. It ain't right. I tell you, if anybody is running this show, it just ain't right. 

I keep thinking of Moonlight Graham in Field of Dreams, denied for eternity his one shot at glory, or Roy Hobbs in The Natural. It's like that opening scene where Hobbs strikes out The Whammer on three pitches... and then pays the price. Make no mistake: This is one of the cruelest acts ever perpetrated by the juju fates who run the baseball universe. They should be ashamed of themselves. Dustin Fowler didn't deserve this. 

They shouldn't have played the game...

How could they leave electrical boxes so exposed, so perfectly situated to wreck an outfielder's knee? Didn't the designers receive a guaranteed rate of pay? The Yankees should hire Trump's lawyers and sue the city of Chicago down to the mayor's porn stash. Surely, White Sox outfielders get warned about the danger. But a youngster barely 20 minutes into the most memorable game of his life - what chance did Dustin Fowler have? Goddamm. It's just so wrong, folks. It's just so fucking wrong!

Joe Girardi cried. Right there, on the Guaranteed Rate grass, for the world to see... a grown man wept. And in that moment, I remembered why I love the guy. Yeah, Joe's had some bad seasons, made some lousy decisions, but listen: His heart has always been pure. He's still the guy who, while driving home from a World Series celebration, stopped to help a desperate motorist on the side of a busy highway outside White Plains. Last night, for the universe to see, Joe cried like a baby, and I am thankful that he is our manager. I'm glad he was out there, because it meant that every Yankee fan in the world did not have to cry alone. 

In two days, we have lost two young players - Tyler Austin and now Fowler. It's as the Fates are testing us. And make no mistake: The Fates are fucking assholes. They couldn't make it as legitimate gods, so they sit around, fixing baseball games and thinking they're important. I hope they face an Attica riot in heaven, or hell, or wherever they are. It ain't right. Greg Bird, James Kaprelian, Glyber Torres, Tyler and now Fowler. To make matters worse, Rob Refsnyder stank out the joint last night. He muffed a fly that allowed two runs - the final margin of loss. And this morning, things are so nuts that we're actually summoning back Chris Carter from the Netherworld. Apparently, even with the Yankees eating his salary, nobody else in baseball wanted him. It's that bad. When I look outside my window, I expect to see Rod Serling making a speech into a camera.

They shouldn't have played the game...

Have I said that this really, reallly sucks? That's not the most poetic way of putting it, I guess. And let's be real here: Nobody died, right? Dustin Fowler should be back for spring training, starting over - (though he may never have the same speed, the same abilities, the same golden future.) This just sucks! This is why players receive such ridiculous gobs of money - and why owners should be horsewhipped and dragged through the streets. For the players, nothing in baseball is ever guaranteed - except, of course, Guaranteed Rate Field. That's guaranteed to make money. That's guaranteed to suck.

Jesus, we need to win tonight.

16 comments:

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Hear hear!

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Hear hear!

Cory Lidle's Scenic Air Tours said...

Good call on Moonlight Graham. Did you know Moonlight made his MLB debut on June 29, 1905? (The real Moonlight Graham; the movie version was pushed back to October to help the narrative). And Dustin Fowler makes his debut on Zjune 29, 2017.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Hear hear, I second your second Urban(e) Farmer!

Howeeeeever, this is WAR, JuJu War, plain and simple for me.
I used to think of the JuJu gods as resembling Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthaux in the Grumpy Old Men series, cantankerous but ultimately lovable old coots who just needed their flaccid egos stroked a little with the help of a fresh sacrifice Ann Margaret-like offering. We do that, and they'd stubbornly throw a game or two our way. Now I realize these 'so called gods' are in reality just evil nihilist KRAMPUS motherf*ckers who want to steal our children, watch us piss ourselves as they beat their pots and pans> spit fire>shake their gnarled wood staffs, and laugh maniacally as they take a huge steaming crap on the garden gnome of our dreams!

The Ghost of Yankees Past said...

el duque,good article and all Yankee fans are now fans of Fowler. Hopefully we see the kid celebrate on the field at Yankees Stadium in the future. I agree with your comments on Joe. While he does make some tactical mistake , he is a class human being. One of the key requirements for a Yankee Manager is to "protect " or shield the players from the insanity that can be New York sports. Give them the space to grow,risk failure and hopefully succeed . Joe is key to creating that constructive environment for the players. Part of the reason he can do this is because of the person he is. This quality will be even more important with the young team the Yankees will have over the next few years.

I am not suggesting sainthood for Joe . But it is only fair to recognize his strengths, as his weakness seen to get all the attention.

el duque said...

Let the record show...

There IS crying in baseball.

Alphonso said...

Sorry mates. He'll never be the same.

Mickey Mantle could hardly walk a few years after he blew out his knee on that drain in CF at the old ( real ) stadium.

So, does this means we have gone through every prospect except Frazier?

There must be a reason why we never hear that " he might be coming up."

Eric said...

We should bring back Andujar or play Wade at 3B and move Headley to 1B. As we said in 1980, anybody but Carter.

Alphonso said...

I disagree. Carter is the man.

(Oddly, Romine looks more natural over there than anyone we have thus far seen. I vote to keep him there.
Too bad we don't have a back-up catcher so he could).

But back to Carter; his presence will remind us, every day, that it was Greg Bird who cost us this season.

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Brilliant. The more massive the man at first, the more obvious the void he is.
Thy name is nobody.
I see you thus I see none.

Your name is not Bird.
Ceci n'est pas une pipe

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Brilliant. The more massive the man at first, the more obvious the void he is.
Thy name is nobody.
I see you thus I see none.

Your name is not Bird.
Ceci n'est pas une pipe

Alphonso said...

Tu as dis ├ža deux fois. Pourquoi?

joe de pastry said...

Hey, Urban, nice to see your bosomy daughter again!

Anonymous said...

1) Pourquoi cest un paradoxe (Get it?? Pair of DOCuments?? Nyuk, nyuk...
2) Cogito, ergo sum
3) Continuing in English: Because every Magritte reference deserves to be repeated AT MINIMUM, twice
4)UF is a kind person, and he wanted to treat to two of his lovely icon-thingy - - one for each eye

A few other comments, re: above reactions:

Are we running a humanitarian organization here, or a baseball team?? Sure, Joey B-B is a nice guy - - perhaps even a great guy - - but couldn't we nudge him into a position where he can develop and encourage young players, but doesn't impact the tactical aspect of the game??

I am assuming that orthopedic science may have advanced since my boyhood idol blew out his knee on that accursed drain - - I very much hope so, for Dustin Fowler's sake.

I don't know why we can't just try Andujar at third for a bit, and see what we have - - WHATEVER we do w/ Headcase Chasely...

Anybody but Carter - - or Ref - - or Randy Levine.

Shame, Duque, for inducing me to look at that photo of Sarah Hucklebuck Sandbox!!
LB (No J)

Anonymous said...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE DEAL IS WITH BIRD?...... LAST I HEARD, HE RECEIVED A CORTISONE SHOT, AND WAS SUPPOSED TO SEE THE DOCTOR THIS PAST TUESDAY..... I NEVER HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THE DOCTOR VISIT.....VERY STRANGE.....ALL I HEARD WAS THE YANKEES MOVED HIM TO THE 60 DAY DL!.....HAS ANYONE HEARD WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID???? .....WHAT IS THE DIAGNOSIS???.... VERY STRANGE..... THERE ARE NO BROKEN BONES RIGHT?..... SO WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG?...... A BONE BRUISE THAT IS TAKING ALL THIS TIME?......SHADES OF CARL PAVANO?...... I PRAY NOT....... VERY STRANGE.

Anonymous said...

REMEMBER MY PUZZLEMENT ON THE GLEYBER TORRES INJURY?..... NO WORD ON HIM BEING HURT AT ALL..... HE WAS PLAYING REGULARLY....
SUDDENLY, SOMEONE SLIDES INTO HIM, AND WITHOUT WARNING, HE IS RUSHED OFF RIGHT AWAY FOR TOMMY JOHN SURGERY ON HIS NON THROWING ELBOW, REPEAT, HIS NON THROWING ELBOW....IT WASN'T LIKE FOWLER YESTERDAY, WHEN YOU KNEW HE HAD TO BE OPERATED ON...... VERY STRANGE.