Council on the Artz: Have We Found the New Joe Hardy?

Write this down: Stephen Artz.

We signed him a few weeks ago out of some Bunny Foo-Foo League, and he's 23. He is pitching at Charleston in the low Class A leagues.

Obviously, he has SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL.

Thus far, Artz -- aka "the Charleston Chewer" -- has thrown 5 2/3 innings. He has given up zero (0) hits, zero (0) runs, zero (0) walks and he HAS STRUCK OUT THIRTEEN (yeeGod!) BATTERS.

Go ahead. Do the math.

Hell with it. I'll do the math. Of the 17 batters he has faced, four have hit the ball. Last night, he threw two innings for his first save. One guy popped to second. One guy flied to right. They probably kept the balls as keepsakes.

Has Brian Cashman ever seen "Damn Yankees?" Well, somebody ought to rent it for him. And he better move this guy up the ladder before Satan cashes him out.

What do we want? Artz in the Bronx. When do we want it? Now.