Yankeetorial: Mr. President, Commute Roger's Sentence NOW!

Dear Mr. Bush,

There hath descendeth upon this land a terrible injustice, a cancer which threatens not only the pennant race but the future of every living, breathing American soul.

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Roger Clemens, a fellow Texan, has been unfairly sentenced to a 5-game suspension for defending his teammate, a former Texan, in a skirmish between a U.S.-based team and a foreign entity from Canada -- a country that, we should remind you, chose not to commit troops to the war on terror, basically because they were sitting around, drinking Canadian beer and carping about the Yankees.

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You, sir, commuted the sentence of another cultural warrior, Irving "Scooter" Libby, on the grounds that he was just standing up for his team. If he told a lie, he did it so the ballclub could win a big game. You understood that. You ran out of the dugout, kicked dirt on the ump, and you made the call.

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You, sir, came through in the clutch, with runners in scoring position, after cooly waiting long in the count to lay down a perfect bunt, the ultimate political quality at-bat!

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BUT NOW, SIR, YOU MUST DO THE SAME FOR ROCKET.

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He was standing up for his teammates. He was defending a U.S. club for foreigners. He was telling all who would do America harm, "I will hit back!"

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And he was just trying to win a ballgame.

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Commute his sentence. Screw the fine. Nobody cares about fines.

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AS COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST BALLCLUB, YOU MUST NOT LET THIS INJUSTICE STAND!

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Or we will wonder whose side you are really on...