Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Payback Time: We're Offering a $20 Bounty to Any Yankee Who Smashes Up a Ray


We're not sure about the modern day ethics of baseball, what with steroids and porno ladies and the signing of 16-year-old Latino boys to professional contracts, and then skimming off the proceeds...

We may be stepping over the line here, and we gyaddamm don't wanna to get thrown off the Internet for being measily sonabitches and bootlessly unhorsed thugs.

But gyadammot! last year around this time, an innocent named Francisco Cervelli got cheapo cold-cocked by a ginned-up Tampa Bay human sled dog at home plate in a crapola game, and then the Tampa manager made snide remarks, and nobody from their side ever had to feel the crunch of bones, and we went the entire season watching Robbie Cano pick his butt while slow rollers inched their way out to Bobby Abreu's wall-repellant mitt.

Yeah, that season.

Well, gyadammot! we say... it's payback time.

We play Tampa tomorrow. PAYBACK TIME.

And we'll pay it.

Twenty dollars.

Cold. Hard. Cash.

That's right. We'll pay $20 to the first Yank who obliterates a Ray in a collision.

Thirty, if it's at home plate.

Thirty dollars, boys. Think about it.

Cold. Hard. Cash.

Payback time.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This post is officially endorsed by Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

Us too!