Joe DePastry's 10 reasons to be glad about the signing of Randy Winn

(VIA JOE)
1. reduced the unemployment rate

2. he won’t hit his 2 homeruns for the Red Sox

3. better arm than Damon, better knees than Matsui

4. higher OBP than Adrian Beltre

5. steals more bases than Melky

6. cooler name than Eric Hinske

7. hit as many homers in majors last year as Greg Golson hit in the minors

8. younger than Jimmy Wynn; less dead than Early Wynn

9. higher batting average and fewer strikeouts than Mike Cameron

10. whatever his VORP is, they’ll probably get even better when they replace him