Updated Johnny Damon timeline

Dec 24: Johnny Damon is not coming back!
Dec. 25: Merry Christmas. Don't expect Damon back.
Dec. 26: No chance of Damon coming back.
Dec. 27: Johnny who?
Dec. 28: Stop writing speculative stories. He's not coming back.
Dec. 29: We can't afford him.
Dec. 30: We're happy with Brett Gardner.
Dec. 31: We're drunk. Don't call. But he's history.
Jan. 1: Nothing changed. He is gone.
Jan. 2: Johnny Damon doesn't exist.
Jan. 3: We won't answer any more questions. He's out.
Jan. 4: This is why people hate the media. He's not coming back.
Jan. 5: Shut up about Johnny Damon, or I'll come to your house and punch you in the mouth.
Jan. 6. Small opening rumored for Damon return.
Jan. 7: Scotch that rumor. It can't happen.
Jan. 8: He's not coming.
Jan. 9: He's not coming, and he's not worth it.
Jan. 10: We have only $2 million to spend.
Jan. 11: Maybe Reed Johnson is coming.
Jan. 12: Hell with Reed Johnson. But not Damon.
Jan. 13: La-la-la I can't hear you...
Jan. 14: Look! Crotch photos of Snooki from Jersey Shore.
Jan. 15: We're giving to Haiti rather than Johnny Damon.
Jan. 16: At last, no more questions about Johnny.
Jan. 17: Hey, who's gonna win the Golden Globes?
Jan. 18: It's over. There is no Johnny Damon.
Jan. 19: Brett Gardner is going to be a fine LF.
Jan. 20: JOHNNY DAMON MIGHT COME BACK!

Jan. 21: NO! HE'S NOT COMING BACK!
Jan. 22: Rocco Baldelli.
Jan. 23: We're thinking about Jim Edmonds.
Jan. 24: JOHNNY MIGHT COME BACK!