Friday, February 26, 2010

Overbite Interruptsis

I sent this photo of our $51 million dollar man to Dr. Toothy, who is a famed oral surgeon in the Chinatown area of NYC. There is no Japanese town in NYC, so this will have to do.


By the way, there is a great Vietnamese restaurant just around the corner from Dr. Toothy, and down one flight of stairs from street level. I recommend the fried quail.

Dr. Toothy is a long term Yankee fan and has shared our woe in trying to come to terms with the lack of major league productivity for this $51 million lefty.

He has concluded that Kei has about 12 too many teeth for a typical lefty. In this photo, you can see how all of Kei's teeth try to force themselves out of his mouth when he gathers himself to deliver a curve.

Not only does a pitcher in this circumstance lose balance and focus, but the saliva build-up becomes intolerable at the very moment of delivery.

To Igawa, this sensation must be like trying to simultaneously hum and whistle the Japanese National Anthem with a mouth full of graham crackers.

Kei's tooth excess is, by itself, reason enough for us to implore Brian Cashman, and our pitching coach, to get Kei to Dr. Toothy this week.

Otherwise, this crafty lefty's career with the Yanks could be a total failure.

5 comments:

Reg said...

I drafted Igawa for my fantasy team his first year.

Alphonso said...

Are you a dentist?

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