Randy, Cash, Wowing 300 million Chinese

Here it is, folks: photo-diplomatic mission of the year:

Randy Levine and Brian Cashman, thrill the Chinese hordes by pressing the Blackberry-soft hands that waved bah-bye to Hideki and Johnny into some eventually hardening goo, for international posterity.

The Yankee bigs are touring China, apparently -- according to this official YES Government News Agency video -- to promote $19.95 memberships in their Madoffian-pyramid fan club, the Yankees Universe.

Says the delighted video announcer: The Yankees are practically the Johnny Appleseeds of baseball on the other side of the Great Wall. They signed a couple Chinamen, who are still years from the mud-quag of Moosic. They have sent to China "a training manual." (Folks, I swear I'm not kidding; that's what they say, we sent them a training manual.) They also sent baseball equipment, including a pitching machine. Let's hope someone shows them proper way to use the rosin bag!

Also, let's hope the Chinese backroll us. Obviously, the Steinbrenners are stone out of money. A quick $200 million? That's movie money over there. GO GET EM, RANDY! Just don't order "flied lice."