Monday, January 9, 2017

Hero-idiot Odell Beckham Jr. creates magical porthole to the universe of fanhood

Last night - after dropping four passes, one being a sure touchdown - NY Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. punched this fist-sized abyss into an olive green wall leading to the Green Bay Packers stadium shower room.

It was by far the most damage Beckham did. He and the Giants absolutely sucked - another one-and-out Wild Card in my life - and today, the lords of sports talk radio are taking batting practice on him. So be it. He hit the wall.

But forgive me here, because I'm a bit old-fashioned. To me, it's refreshing when a player abuses himself after a loss. It's a link to us fans who kick the couch, smash a few dishes and scream at our families. I work off a Yankee defeat by running through the streets, clawing at trees and throwing myself at moving cars. After a Yankee loss to the Dodgers, old George Steinbrenner once broke his hand pushing an elevator wall. I loved him for that. And when Paul O'Neill went bonkers on a water cooler, didn't it deserve to be hit?

Today, Beckham is poster boy for idiocy. Yep, he's a moron. But dammit, he cares. I'd rather have the guy who fights the locker room wall than the one who is petting his bunny rabbit.

I should add that Beckham also reportedly slammed his head into a metal locker. Way to good, my man! Finally, the Giants team supposedly trashed their airplane during the flight home. Were they trying to make it crash into a mountain? If so, that's going overboard. Still, I like the effort!


Local Bargain Jerk said...

El Duque:

Normally, I'm right on the same page with you but not this time:

1) When Kevin Brown broke his non-pitching hand in 2004, I thought it was stupid and annoying. Some of this was likely a function of how useless and overpaid I thought Brown was. I'm of a mind that Mike Mussina's quote in that article nails it: "I think we've all been frustrated, we've all been upset at one time or another, and we've probably said some things that we wish we hadn't said. But to physically do something to injure yourself? I can't relate to that. I've seen guys do it, but I can't relate to it"

2) Although I didn't dislike him as much, I felt more or less the same way when A.J. Burnett did the same thing in 2010. Except Burnett injured his pitching hand. What a dumbass.

3) As far as Beckham goes, he had 7 days to prepare for this very first playoff game. He chose to spend one of those days on a party cruise with Justin Bieber. No matter what he says about there being "no relation", he looked like he had only completed 6/7th's of his prep work. Oh. And. Fucking. Bieber?

Beckham is an idiot. If I were his teammate in that locker room, I'd have chewed him a new one.

That said, the list of things Beckham's got going for him are formidable. He's talented enough to rebound, he's young, his coach is young and impressive, this lesson MUST have been painful for him, and the Giants defense is incredible. I'm a Patriots fan because of where I've lived since 1990, but I grew up bleeding Giants blue. I'd say that we should all watch out for the NYG in 2018.

Anonymous said...

Finally!! After months & months of reading your stuff, I FINALLY found one thing to dislike about you, LBJ: you root for the CHEATERS - - because of where you live??? TSK. That is not obligatory, I can assure you: I have lived roughly 40 miles from Comerica Park (formerly Briggs Stadium), and Ford Field/ Silverdumb, and have since 1972, but NOBODY is gonna' make me root for the Tigers, nor the Lions, nor the Dead Wings. TSK.

Having said that, you have been right on, nearly all of the time, outside of Belly-Ache-a-Chick & his pet Deflater - - but, please - - proximity is no excuse for fandom (even IF my Mom - - bless her - - did tell me when I was 5 that I had to root for the White Sox, 'cause they were the closest) I tried that - - God, was it boring, in spite of Minoso, Nellie Fox, & Luis Aparicio. Ugh.
Then there was my Dad, who listened to every Cubs' game - - every afternoon - - Jack Brickhouse & Harry Carey - - every dang day....but he never tried to make me into a Cubs' fan.

and, Duque - - TSK - - citing George & Paulie as role-models who wanted to win so much: If I'm not mistaken, George once got in trouble for an extra-legal contribution to Ronnie Ray-Gun (amiright??); and Paulie is a well-known tRUMP booster - - as well as eating every bit of free food put in front of him - - whether in Mar-a-Lago, or the YES broadcast booth - - I swear, I have heard him rate people by the class of the food they promo'd for him....TSK, Duque - - LBJ is right on this one....Just wish he hadn't mentioned the Cheaters....They're second from the bottom on my sxxt-list, only after the Dull-Ass Cow-Punks. (nor, there is a case where Duque is 100 percent right on!!!!) LB (No J)

Local Bargain Jerk said...


I cannot explain why I became a Pats fan. It's nothing I had any control over. It just happened. It started even before the Dick McPherson/Victor Kiam era, so I'm not just some kind of a fair weather friend. By contrast, the thought of supporting the Red Sox sickens me, so it's all inexplicable.

If you really believe the Patriots cheated this season -- with all the scrutiny they are under -- then you're also saying that the NFL's oversight abilities are worthless.

The Patriots win because Brady is talented, Belichick is a football genius, and Kraft is a good owner who runs a tight ship. The quality of their offensive line play is also a huge factor. There's nothing more to it than that.

Final thought: If Kraft were to buy the Yankees, we'd all be in 7th heavan.

Tom said...

LB: Steinbrenner was caught funneling cash to Nixon not Reagan. (Beyond that I am not reading or watching political news -- at all. Too G-D depressing. Trying to stay tuned out at least through the coronation.)

Not sure how I feel about Beckham. Amazing talent. Ridiculous prima donna. Looks like he's committed to learning a few things the hard way. Hope he figures it out before he loses a foot on his fastball. Football has a way of doing that to people with talent. (Which is another reason why Belichick is such a evil genius; he moves on before guys reach their sell-by date and restocks. His scouting operation, picking up discards -- sort of like our man Cashman -- and getting lots of extra mileage out of them, is remarkable, although I sincerely hate those MFs.)

LBJ is right to cite Mussina: Losing is frustrating, but self-injury is stupid.

One final thing: Assuming that he doesn't find a good replacement for Headley Lamarr, the best thing Cashman can do for the Yankees this winter and spring is bring in a boatload of arms for the bullpen. Our lineup is going to have some big holes and our starting pitchers seem to think the game is only six innings.

Have a great day, everybody. Down here, the sun has come out for the first time in a while and there's just a hint of promise in the air that spring may soon be around the corner.

John M said...

I used to think Beckham was a Rocky Thompson who was able to catch a ball. Now, I think he's Rocky Thompson with a bleached Mohawk.

Anonymous said...

LBJ: I never said the Cheaters cheated this season; they've been caught doing it enough times in past season (with pretty much present personnel) that I would never, nor could I ever) root for them, unless the management & players largely turn over. Period.

Brady might be talented, and Belly-Ache-a-Chick may be very smart, but that, like Richard Nixon, just for instance, is not enough for them....they wanted to make absolutely CERTAIN they would win - - by stealing opponents' sideline signals with a tele-photo camera-man, jamming their headset, deflating balls to suit the Prima Donna, etc....If that doesn't make you question their legitimacy, I guess you won't be convinced. LB (No J)

Alphonso said...

The only thing is; If Beckham, say, breaks several bones in his hand and fractures some knuckles, will he be able to catch lefty?

To reassure you of his value; I promise the Giants will draft a wide-receiver in April.