It's an unwritten rule of creation that every Yankee - even the light-hitting Ronald Torreyes ("Torreyes is terrific! Bonny Ronnie!") - gets a John Sterling yahoo yelp. When a new player arrives, the Yankiverse debates ideas for The Master's call.
Yet Chris Carter - last year's NL home run leader - has never conjured much discussion within the Yankee peanut gallery. (A subReddit devoted to the subject came up with one putrid offering: "Carter really jimmied that one." - Ouch.) Now, with Greg Bird having a great spring, Carter's presence has only diminished further. He's become the Yankee Voldemort - He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
So... what WILL The Master shout? Let's do the analytics on a proper two-pronged homer holler. We'll break it down, courtesy of RhymeZone.com:
CARTER rhymes with..
arter, barter, cart her, charter, chart her, darter, dartre, garter, harter,hartter, heart her, karter, marter, martyr, parter, part her, sartor,smarter, starter, start her, tartar, tarter
"Carter charters a downtown flight!"
"No barter for Carter."
"It's a start... from Cart... er.!
bis, biss, bliss, bliss', briss, brys, buice, chris', chriss, cris, criss, cuisse,dis, diss, driss, fis, fiss, flis, fliss, gliss, hiss, kis, kiss, kniss, kris, kriss,lis, liss, lisse, mis, miss, nisse, piss, pliss, plisse, pris, priss, riss, risse,rys, scris, sis, spiss, stys, suess, suisse, swiss, this, this', triss, twiss, vis,whiss, wis, wiss, wisse, wyss
All right, who's got a better Chris? Or has The Master already played his hand?
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16 comments:
His initials are CC. John has been known to recycle calls and "Whoever says CC you later" has been done before. That's my bet.
"Carter sends a liver pill to the upper deck." (Or is that too commercial)?
Gomer just said, "Goooollllly, Sargent Carter!"
Am I the only one who thought of "Farter?" I guess my default is to the gross and scatalogical, but hey..."CARTER RIPS A FARTER!" is pretty strong, in my book. My book, of course, has been falling apart for years.
"PURE BLISS FROM CHRIS!!!" is not really the Master's style, but let me keep riffing while I"m still sitting down.
"TESTICULAR CHRISTOPHER DELIVERS THE GOODS!" Am I on shaky ground here?
"MR CARTER THE FIRE STARTER!"
Ok. My work is done. I need to go lie down.
Carter hits it harder!
Carter goes yarder!
Chris doesn't miss!
Chris whacks the piss out of this!
This is tough, isn't it?
CARTER...... DRIVES IT FARTHER!
I LIKE 13 BITS, "PURE BLISS FROM CHRIS" ....
ALSO, anonymous' " CARTER SENDS A LITTLE LIVER PILL INTO THE STANDS"
HONORABLE MENTION: LBJ's "CARTER GOES YARDER"
Oh, Boston! Your starter is a martyr, so says Chris Carter!
CAAAARTER IS GETTTTING HAAAARDER!!!!
THE CARTING COMPANY TAAAAAKES IT AWAAAAAAAY!!!!!
HITCH YOUR CART TO THAT ONE!!! IIIIIIITTT'S GOOOOOOOOOONE!
CHRISTOPHER CART GOES YARD!!!
but what if he never gets to play? isn't the ideal homer holler for him the one that we NEVER get to hear???
duque's "Chris it goodbye" gets my vote
He's reading these right?
The Master doesn't do the Internet.
That's Suzyn's job.
How about, "Wow, he didn't strike out!"
"It went farther, with Carter."
Who gives a shit about rhyme?
LBJ nailed it with Carter goes yarder.
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