Sunday, October 15, 2017

Since Alphonso asked...

Even in heaven, the angels sometimes disagree. And let's face it: The world is divided, Hollywood is in turmoil, Washington is exploding, and why wouldn't the Yankiverse be facing civil war? These days, you can get killed in a bar by arguing about whether Joe Girardi deserves his job, or if Jacoby Ellsbury should be our DH. The planet has gone nuts. I think it's those trace amounts of drugs they're finding in our water supplies, or sunspots, or nitrous-oxide, or Russian interference, or magnets, or Satan, or what Freddy Nietzsche called the entirety of humankind staring into "the abyss." Or maybe the place is just getting too damn crowded. 

Or maybe - as in the case of my old friend Alphonso - it's just a case of Baby wanna a new bag of peanuts, WAH-WAH-WAHHH....

Last night, after the Yankees blew game two, the Fonz fired off an angry set of questions, attacking my universally acclaimed, point-by-point, scientifically-empirical-yet-poetically-magical analysis, which I rendered unto undeserving humankind on Saturday morning, and which looked hopefully upon the Yankee condition. Obviously, a dam burst in Alph's mind. I shall now attempt to address his tantrum points, one by one, in a calm and professional, bloglike manner. 

Who wants to tell me how great the Yankees are doing?

I do. Nobody - certainly not I - expected this team to be breathing in October. By now, I had Aaron Judge tickle-monstering Keith Hernandez in the Fox pre-game shows. But here we are, playing with the house money of Destiny. If in 2017, we simply unveiled Judge, renewed Gary Sanchez, returned Greg Bird, and elevated Luis Severino - and finished third - it would have been a good year. Yeah, we can fume over each loss. (Believe it or not, I still question the cascade of deadline trades, which the TV talking heads have proclaimed were the stuff of Cashman's genius. How can you judge those trades without seeing what happens to the players we gave up?)  

Yes, we should be furious over each loss. Hurl kitchen objects, kick the furniture, and if that door looks at you with a sideways smirk, body slam the fucking asshole like it's never been slammed before. (Don't hurt the TV, though. She's done nothing wrong. Around here, we don't take kindly to TV batterers.) I get it that you're mad. But the Yankees - on the cosmic scale - are doing great.

Who wants to tell me how we are " this" close to turning things around?

I do. We have lost two games, each by one goddamn run, while coming out on the short end of every close play by the juju gods and every close call by the home field umps. I don't think Houston can win a game without home cooking. If they do, well, they deserve to beat us. At one point last night, John seethed that "the New York crowd won't be like this one." We have now looked the mighty Astros in the eye. They're not that good.

Who wants to remind me how Judge is really a talent and Sanchez is a great hitter?

Not me. I'm as pissed as you are. I'm starting to look at Judge in the way Redsock fans are now seeing Jackie Bradley Jr. - they want him traded this winter. Two years ago, at the all-star break, Bradley looked like the Second Coming of Willie Mays. He was challenging for the Triple Crown. He completely tanked in the second half of the season, and in 2017, he's been nothing like that emerging star as seen on TV in the spring of 2016. 

I doubt Judge will ever see a half-season like the one he enjoyed this spring and summer. He's never going to hit .300, or even .270. He'll settle into being a .245 hitter with 30-35 home runs and a shitload of strikeouts - I think he can learn to cut down - but he will supply good defense, good speed and a good clubhouse presence. I think he's smart. I think he'll figure out that strike zone weakness that, right now, makes him look terrible. (I do believe Girardi should have dropped him in the batting order, as he did Sanchez against righties.)

As for Sanchez? Look at the batting averages of other teams' catchers. Yeah, he must work his way into becoming a good defensive catcher. I think he will. If not, the Yankees will trade him, because Greg Bird will be playing first base for the next five years. 

Who wants to tell me we were down 0-2 against Cleveland and came back?

Anybody want to take this? Class? Anyone? OK, I will.

We were down 0-2 against Cleveland and came back. You can look it up. 

Who wants to tell me that we'll have Tanaka and Luis back for games 6 and 7, respectively?

I'm pretty sure Tanaka will answer the gun. Good grief, the guy has pitched for three years with a partially torn elbow. You think he'll call in sick from being overworked? Don't know about Luis' shoulder, but - frankly - I'm much more concerned about CC and Sonny Gray. I don't see either pitching into the sixth, and it could mean that - at some fulcrum point of destiny, Dellin will get the call. Can you imagine that? Betances on the mound in a playoff game. Now, that's something to worry about... or, considering his ability to decapitate batters - something for Houston to worry about.

I am not in the fucking mood.

You know who else is not in a "fucking mood?" Suzyn! She was absolutely sure that home run would get called back, was almost cackling at the serendipitous perfection of Houston's run coming off the board. And then, she was angry. The Sunoco Broadcast Booth is a snakes next of fury and rage. The Master saw Brett Gardner safe at third, taking a base that "no mere mortal" could have done. If Suzyn gets a pre-game interview with Jose Altuve, she'll tear off his leg and beat him to death with it. Now THAT, my friends, is what rage looks like.

13 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

" If Suzyn gets a pre-game interview with Jose Altuve, she'll tear off his leg and beat him to death with it. Now THAT, my friends, is what rage looks like."

If she does that, I will take back every bad thing I ever said about her.

Anonymous said...

THE THING THAT I WONDER ABOUT WITH JUDGE IS, DID OUR "BRAIN TRUST" (CASHMAN AND GIRARDI) GET IN HIS EAR AND TELL HIM TO ONLY WORRY ABOUT PUTTING RUNS ON THE BOARD?

TRANSLATION: KEEP SWINGING FOR THE FENCES.

FOR HALF A SEASON, HE WAS SPRAYING SINGLES TO CENTER AND RIGHT FIELD.

THOSE HITS HE WAS GETTING MADE ME GIDDIER THAN THE HOME RUNS BECAUSE TO ME IT MEANT HE WOULDN'T BE A "HOME RUN OR NOTHING" GUY. (AS IN DAVE KINGMAN/ADAM DUNN OR ROB DEER).

THEN CAME THE 2ND HALF, AND IT ALL STOPPED. HE HAS COMPLETELY GIVEN UP TAKING THE BALL THE OTHER WAY FOR A SINGLE OR DOUBLE.

MAYBE OUR "BRAIN TRUST" THINKS BECAUSE OF HIS WALKS, HE GETS ON FIRST BASE ENOUGH?

HAS ALL THIS SABERMETRIC NONSENSE PERMEATED, NEGATIVELY, INTO AARON JUDGE'S INCREDIBLY BRIGHT FUTURE?

IT'S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

Alphonso said...

I went to the "little brothers and sisters of baseball" church service this morning, turned in my weapon, and ate some baked goods.

I sure hope you are right.

Maybe optimism is the way out. Maybe a good, healthy perspective is needed. Maybe just seeing this team in post season is enough. After all, as the Padre said, " it is only a game."

I'll promised my maker ( Judge Landis ) that I would settle down if Judge even attempts to hit one ball " where it is pitched."

What, Anonymous said, above.

Otherwise......well those church ladies better move up to fried chicken.

JM said...

What all caps said. What Duque said.

And if we lose to Houston, I won't blame the kids, who are still half-baked, imo. Nor Gardy, who is suddenly a monster when it counts. Nor the pitching staff, which is the definition of overperformance.

No. It's still Girardi, still Cashman.

They got Verlander. We got Sonny Gray.

Nutshell, right there.

ranger_lp said...

I've been listening to "The Master" from his days at WMCA-AM when he had a call in sports show. Actually learned a lot about sports from him. So today's "Masterism" is "If you have a good starting pitcher every day, you're going to have a good chance to win every game." Houston does and we don't. Sonny Gray is not in the category. Nuf said.

Anonymous said...

I LIKE JOHN M'S "NUTSHELL".

BINGO.

Anonymous said...

Sonny will be fine. He's tough as nails. As he said to Mike Lupica the other day...

Sonny: This life... you know, our life, you ain't gonna get any medals, they just dump you in a river or God knows where. It's not a hero business, you don't shoot someone from a mile away, you shoot 'em when you can see the pimples and such. Sometimes, their brains go all over your suit. What do you think of that kid?

Lupica: What's the plan?

Sonny: The plan? The plan? Here's the fucking plan, we go in there, we find out who's supplying the joint then we burn it to the fucking ground, there's my fucking plan!

Doug K.

KD said...

John M, Along with The Sonny trade, which brought us such a superstar that he remains hidden in the post season, you also need to examine their DH compared to our DH. Penny wise and pound foolish is costing us.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Good points all around, Duque—and everyone else.

I keep on thinking about what those professional morons on the Red Sox, led by Kevin Millar, were saying back in 2004: "Don't let us win one."

I have the same feeling about this Yankees team. If we can just win one...

Anonymous said...

How wearying it is to come to this blog looking for valuable insights and finding only recycled sweat and panic and stubborn cliches, pounded into the same weary pablum, post after post. So el duque is ready to heave Judge into the dumpster, and give up on Sanches to boot? This is simply a repetition of his mid-season panic over Judge, which he recanted in September only to take it out for another spin around the blog in October. Sorry, duque--but this is grossly ignorant BS--a waste of your time and your reader's bandwidth.

First point to remember. JUDGE IS A ROOKIE. He has had an epic season for a rookie, A RECORD-BREAKING SEASON. We all know--or should know--that it takes several years for young players to tap the full potential of their talent. Here's a telling example: look at the first four years of Barry Bonds's major league career--in none of those campaigns did he even sniff at what Judge has accomplished in 2017:

1986
.223/.330/.416

Look at that rookie slash line for Bonds--.223 BA, .330 OBP, and .416 slugging. !6 homeruns and 48 RBIs. el duque not only would have banished him to the minors or traded him for Ken Phelps--he probably would have taken a contract out on him to boot.

Then look at Bonds's next three seasons--steady progress, but still below average, albeit promising. It was not until Bonds's FIFTH SEASON in the majors--1990--that he began to put up the kinds of numbers that we associate with Barry Bonds--what turned out to be Hall of Fame numbers, notwithstanding his late-career PED binge. And even his 1990 numbers fell short of Judge's 2017 numbers in most respects.

There are countless such stories in MLB lore--baseball is a very hard sport, and it usually takes years to master its intricacies and rise to one's full potential. Judge's first season has been so staggeringly good--so far beyond what many Hall of Famers achieved in their first year, or first several years--that Yankee fans should be popping champagne corks in celebration, not burbling in despair.

Anyone else tired of the daily lava flows of arrant baseball ignorance on this blog? We appreciate your wit, el duque, but every time you venture into baseball analysis and prognostication, you embarrass yourself and discredit your blog.


KD said...

Dude. do you know where you are? Don’t confuse powerful negative/reverse JuJu for Judge hate.

Anonymous said...

This is not judge reverse JuJu. This is just the same old song.

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