Friday, October 13, 2017

Tonight, the Yankees face Dallas Keuchel - their official Babadook - and a new media narrative

You must remember this: A kiss is still a kiss, a sigh is still a - o, fukkit - a sigh is the sound of the world always hating the Yankees, as time goes by. And soon - like, tonight - our brief tryst with popularity will splatter against the media windshield.

It will end against a vastly superior Houston lineup, created the old-fashioned way: A decade of finishing last, drafting first and shedding veterans at the trade deadline. It's the tried and true recipe for success among cynical owners, who are happy to wait their turn. Our touchy-feely Yankee "Cinderella" moments will end as the TV meat puppets start selling the Astros as God's healing tonic for a city having been built on a flood-plain. Beginning tonight, the Astros will be providing spiritual aid to all those who suffered from Hurricane Harvey, thus allowing America to move on from the catastrophe.

Listen: I don't mean to make fun of people losing homes in floods. It's just the notion that a sports team will make everything right - dispelled by the 2010 New Orleans Saints, the 2013 Boston Redsocks and - yes - the Yankees of 2001 - is nothing more than a marketing scheme wrapped in human suffering. This is baseball, Suzyn, a game played by overgrown boys and sold by the most ice-hearted lizards ever evolved. 

Tonight, our Cinderella run hits Dallas Keuchel, and it might be the only thing that does. Last time we faced Keuchel in a "post-season," we scratched out three measly hits, a performance more denounced than Spiderman: Turn off the Dark, which ended with home fans booing Brett Gardner, as he ran out a dinky grounder. In three quick hours, including commercials, the one-game, fake post-season was over, hardening our hatred for the Wild Card and exiling us for two long years of wandering the moors of Scranton in search of Brigadoon Refsnyder.

Yesterday, the media put on its loving face toward the Yankees, branding us as the team nobody expected to be here. What bullshit. I'm not saying we shouldn't be happy, but when Brian Cashman made all those deadline deals - trading four of our top 10 prospects - the front office was throwing down a gauntlet that said, reach the post-season or die. We made it. And yes, anything can happen.  

Of course, the beauty with media narratives is they don't mean squat. Wednesday night, the barking minions of the Yankiverse understood this, while the Fox 1 announcers talked up CC Sabathia's return to Cleveland as if it were Odysseus swimming home from Troy. While the comedy team of Vasgersian and Smoltz breathlessly noted CC being perfect through three, the fan base simply begged the juju gods for five solid innings. And it worked.

Listen: Dallas Keuchel kills us. Look at the chart. He always has. But so did Corey Kluber-Feldman. And this time, there is one big difference. It's a seven-game affair. Whatever lines the media puts forth, they won't last long. Hold on. Last time I looked, a kiss is still a kiss...

5 comments:

KD said...

Am I the only one here that feels Tanaka in game one is a mistake? should have gone to Gray and saved Tanaka for a long-rest start where giving up two runs to the Astros might actually win us a game. Losing to Keuchel 6-1 with Gray is no worse than losing to Keuchel 2-1 with Tanaka.

Or is this a Joe stroke of genius, saving Mr. "awesome metrics" Gray for a sure win in game 4?

Only time will tell! :-)

Anonymous said...

I'M WITH YOU KD...

HAVING TANAKA GO GAME 1 IN THIS BALLPARK?

I DON'T LIKE IT.

RATHER HAVE GRAY GO NOW, AND HAVE TANAKA GO AT HOME WITH THE EXTRA REST.

THAT ALWAYS SEEMS TO WORK WITH MASA.

LOOKS LIKE HEADLEY IS GOING TO PLAY BASED ON EL DUQUE'S CHART, ALL BECAUSE HE SCRATCHED OUT A COUPLE HITS OFF KEUCHEL.

MISTAKE.

GIRARDI.

OH, THAT GIRARDI.

HoraceClarke66 said...

AMEN, KD and ALL-CAPS!

The Times was all over how Girardi was "saved" by the win over Cleveland.

Yep. Saved to make more, and stupider mistakes.

—Why not start Montgomery? Houston hit him hard, too, but at least he has a chance on the road, where he had a 4.38 ERA. And why is he even on the roster if you don't start him here?

—And again, why did you acquire Sonny Gray in a trade, if you're afraid to even start him in the playoffs? We're looking at you on this one, Mr. Cashman.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also, the Times sports page yesterday printed one article on the Yankees' win—albeit with really big pictures—and about three pages on the meltdown of the US soccer team, including a minute-by-minute account of their elimination.

Today there was more on the Yanks, but also more on soccer. This, for a team that had absolutely no chance to win the World Cup, even if they'd gone to Russia.

What's the Times' new motto? "All the news that no one gives a damn about?"

One of the article was, in fact, all about how almost no one really cares. Gee.

It's as if, after last year's election, their domestic news department had devoted a couple columns to Hillary and Trump, and a whole section to the failure of the Green Party to win the White House.

Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

Lime Gary Lineker once said (famous England striker), soccer is a game for 22 players, that takes 90 minutes and in the end Germany wins.
There is no point playing the tournament at all. We Dutch know that all too well.

The NYTimes is prone to writing philosophical topics about futilities. It almost its reason of existence.

Probably the hook that got me to take a digital subscription.