Monday, November 25, 2019

Bravo: The Yankees will have a hitting coach named Rachel

It's too soon to get a sense of how Rachel Balkovec will do as the new Yankees minor league hitting coach. For a groundbreaking, potentially culture-changing pioneer, she doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. But here are some items that we do know...

To communicate with roughly half the prospects she'll encounter, she learned to speak Spanish. That's smart. In fact, I wonder how many other Yankee minor league coaches have done this? If not, why?

She has two Masters' Degrees. That's - well - I'm not sure what to make of it. An old reporter and adjunct professor, I always wondered about people with Masters degrees in Journalism; it seemed like a way to avoid finding a job. In this case, it might be what a woman needs to get an edge in a man's game. If so, fine. Still, two masters degrees... hard to figure.

She seems to have a sense of humor. This is good.


She's sort of a dweeb, a lab-coat. I say this in a positive sense. She comes from a burgeoning, computer-driven field of body motion analytics - which comes in stark contrast to the traditional, ball-scratching, cud-chewing trope of the minor league coach, as advanced by baseball movies and novels. To some, her very presence will be threatening. I mean, you wouldn't imagine Stump Merrill giving a talk at a bio-metrics conference.  


In some, if not many cases, she will represent the first woman boss a teenager ever encounters. Actually, "boss" is not the right word. And certainly, they had female school teachers. But she will become their first and only empowered female since they signed the $200,000 contract. All the others will have chin stubble and ball sacks. Let's hope she affects the way that entitled and pampered young athletes react to females - be they reporters, trainers, fans, hookups, the whole assortment. Because NYC is no place for a 20-year-old future millionaire who cannot deal with women. 

Case in point: Domingo German. Had he not faced accusations of slapping around his girlfriend, German might have two months ago pitched the Yankees past Houston. Now, he'll be pitching under a cloud. I'm not saying Rachel Balkovec could have made a difference. But I don't see it hurting.

Well, actually, it could. What if she seduces a 16-year-old prospect, or goes crazy and boils someone's bunny, or castrates an entire minor league pitching staff? (Okay, what other tropes am I missing?) More importantly, what if Yankee coaches and personnel fail to support her, or whisper against her, to keep their status quo. Some boomers may believe that, on a ball field, toxic masculinity wins. Yep, things could go south. But let's give the Yankees credit here. This is worth a try. Yo, Rachel! You go, girl!

7 comments:

JM said...

I want a female manager. Suzyn may be available.

Anonymous said...

As long as the Yankees are being open minded how about Jennifer Steinbrenner for decision making owner? She has the fire and the smarts.

Doug K.

ranger_lp said...

How about Jeff Besos' ex-wife? See certainly knew about upside...

Anonymous said...

"What if she seduces a 16-year-old prospect, or goes crazy and boils someone's bunny, or castrates an entire minor league pitching staff?"

A crazed male coach could do the exact same, so male or female makes no difference in that respect.

As long as she doesn't tell the hitters to swing for the fences on each and every pitch, it should be okay, I hope.

The Hammer of God

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very true, Duque, and I say welcome, too.

But I do share Hammer's fear: Is she another analytics fanatic? Is this just one more "Swing for the fences!" advocate?

Anonymous said...

2 MASTERS DEGREES.

BIO-MECHANICS MAJOR.

I SAW A PICTURE OF HER POWER LIFTING.

.....BUT SHE HAS NEVER BEEN A BATTING COACH FOR ANY TEAM, ANYWHERE.

HAS SHE EVER SWUNG A BAT IN HER LIFE? (I'M SERIOUS).

HAS SHE EVER TRIED TO BUNT A BALL IN HER LIFE?

HAS SHE EVER SHORTENED HER SWING, OR CHOKED UP ON THE BAT TO TRY TO MAKE CONTACT IN A TENSE GAME SITUATION?

I'M NOT BEING SARCASTIC.

I AM HEARING ALL THESE ACCOLADES ABOUT HER, WHICH IS GREAT, BUT WHAT DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT HITTING A BASEBALL BESIDES ALGORITHMS, AND THEORIES?

I AM STILL WAITING TO HEAR IN WHAT CAPACITY SHE HAS SERVED AS A HITTING INSTRUCTOR.

I HAVEN'T HEARD A THING YET.

IN THAT CASE, I NOMINATE MYSELF AS YANKEE HITTING COACH.

I PLAYED A LITTLE SEMI-PRO BALL.

I GOT A BASE-HIT OFF FUTURE MAJOR LEAGUE PITCHER ROY SMITH.

.....AND I COULD LAY A BUNT DOWN REAL WELL.

I BELIEVE I HAVE BETTER QUALIFICATIONS THAN OUR NEW HITTING INSTRUCTOR.

I CAN SEE IT NOW ON OPENING DAY!

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, THE YANKEES NEW HITTING INSTRUCTOR...ALL CAPS ANONYMOUS.



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