Thursday, January 16, 2020

Jose Altuve was just shy; that's why he didn't want his jersey to be ripped open

An important announcement from Major League Baseball:

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HAS FULLY INVESTIGATED THE POSSIBILITY OF ANY HOUSTON ASTRO BATTERS WEARING ELECTRONIC DEVICES THAT COULD CONVEY INFORMATION ABOUT STOLEN SIGNS.

NO HOUSTON ASTROS WORE ELECTRONIC DEVICES THAT COULD HAVE CONVEYED INFORMATION REGARDING STOLEN SIGNS.

PEOPLE ARE ADVISED TO REMAIN IN THEIR HOMES AND WATCH THEIR TELEVISION SETS FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.

ALL IS WELL. 

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL.

(Aren't conspiracy theories fun?)

2 comments:

13bit said...

MLB CAN SUCK MY BALLS

Carl J. Weitz said...

I heard Cora took another job in Boston.

https://twitter.com/barstoolsports/status/1217242647246622720