Sunday, January 19, 2020

The week that changed everything

Once upon a time, the Houston Astros were adorable, and the Boston Redsocks represented lovable underdogs, everywhere. Disney caricatures. This was bullshit, of course, but nobody cared: It played well on TV: Two long-suffering, slightly rebellious franchises, battling the evil mega-markets of NY and LA. All you had to do was listen to Joe Buck - or, for that matter, anyone.

Well, last week, whatever vestiges of their ginned-up innocence crash-landed in the garbage bins of Twitter. Now, instead of the Astros symbolizing Houston's recovery from the flood, or the Redsocks restoring hope after the Marathon bombing, both championship teams will be remembered along with allegations of cheating. Funny thing, Karma. 

Both teams will piss, moan and accuse - we haven't scratched the surface - but their times are up in the airbrushed spotlight of public approval. 

That could make each team especially dangerous in 2020; to save their withering reputations, both must win. Make no mistake: Last week, the Yankees' path to a world championship did not get easier.

Still, the week changed everything. On that note, I direct your eyeballs to Tyler Kepner's thumb-sucker in today's Gray Lady. Kepner, in magazine-length mode, contacted a few retired and/or veteran players - rarities who thus far are willing to comment. Some barn-burner quotes:  

“When you’d go to Houston, it always seemed like they were on pitches,” [former Oakland catcher Stephen) Vogt said. “As a catcher, when you see your pitcher execute a perfect slider down in the zone with two strikes and someone doesn’t even flinch at it, you start to get alarm bells going off in your head. I spent a lot of time wondering if I was doing something in my setup that would be tipping pitches to the other team.”

“Now you’re telling me that could have potentially shortened my career or sent me back down” to the minor leagues, Indians pitcher Mike Clevinger said in a video posted to YouTube, “because they knew what I was throwing when I was in their park?”

“It’s time for the players involved to step forward,” the veteran reliever Jerry Blevins tweeted. “Take your lumps publicly. Your name is coming out sooner or later. Maybe there’s some integrity still in you somewhere.”

Blevins is right. Soon - like, this week - every past and present MLB player will get his shot at the microphone. A dam is about to break, and a lot of angry players - especially pitchers - are going to weigh-in. It's going to get crazier than ever. But make no mistake: Last week was 2019 B.C. (Before Charges). Today, we are in 2020 A.D. (After Disclosures.)

25 comments:

ranger_lp said...
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ranger_lp said...
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ranger_lp said...

Let's find ways to cut down on cheating...

1. Remove replay rooms from the stadiums.

2. Players must submit to a metal detector test before entering the batter's box. Should find any rouge buzzers...

3. (It can't be a lie detector test...not admissible in court...)

13bit said...

How about this?

1. Cut off the electricity during the game.
2. Play only day games.
3. Players must play naked or in a thong.


Actually, the greatest deterrent would be to simply ban those who are caught for life, no questions asked, at the first offense.

ranger_lp said...

@13bit...that would give a whole new meaning to a hanging ball...

13bit said...

or the term "wide stance," for that matter. remember that asshole?

13bit said...

by the way, and this is early, as I contemplate the "soon to be legendary©" 2020 IIHIIF Huckleberry Jamboree and think of a weekend day game in August, I page ahead and see that we have two choices - The Athletics or the Blue Jays. Any way to do a straw poll on availability? I was hoping to get Alphonso and Mustang on board for this one, as well, but everybody has an equal voice here. Except Duque.

JM said...

Most of July sucks for me, along with the last week in June and the first week in August.

So I could probably make either game, but lean toward the Jays since that's the absolute safest.

I don't want to complicate things here, but are wives allowed? Mine remembers more about the last 20 years than I do. Not a deal breaker. Also not even sure she wants to go, but just checking.

13bit said...

Women are always welcome if they're willing to put up with this crew.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


JM:

There was one woman in attendance last year and, from all reports, she had a good time.

As long as she doesn't mind the occasional contest to see who can deliver the most lines from The Gettysburg Address in burp form, it should be no problem at all.

el duque said...

I'm in, one way or another. Alphonso claims he's going to make it, but I'll believe it when I see him. (He's gone West Coast.)

ranger_lp said...

Those dates work for me...

HoraceClarke66 said...

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers belched forth..." No, wait...

HoraceClarke66 said...

I say go the full electronic, as Kepner mentioned. Find a way to have catchers transmit electronically to pitchers.

But I also like the "first time caught, out" remedy. I really wonder if we shouldn't use this with juicers.

TheWinWarblist said...

I just need a little advance warning and I can clear any weekend. Although August is probably better. My womanly and zaftig bosom is at the ready!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I will be at any game that Mustang and Fonzie show up to, except July 4th week.

Rufus, reporting in from the great barrier reef.

And now going back to seclusion, pissed off at baseball in general and yankees management in particular.

13bit said...

Okay, I'm not sure if the weekend days work now. There is exactly one weekday day game, and that's against the Orioles on a Wednesday. That may not be good for people.

Are night games prohibitive?

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Are night games prohibitive?

A night game means that anyone coming from outside the city needs to stay over and pay for a hotel. That would add $200 or so to the cost of the day...

Local Bargain Jerk said...


"outside the city" should be "outside the NY Metro area".

13bit said...

Would the one Wednesday game be possible? Let me go look at July and September. So sad that weekday day games are history.

Larry Craig U.S. Senate (R, retired) said...

13bit, if that is your real name. I will have you know that my stance is as wide as ever. Meet you in the Boise airport men’s room at the end of the concourse? I. There Mondays and Thursdays, rain or shine.

13bit said...

Larry! I knew I'd run into you after saying that. I don't swing that way, but we can grab a coffee and I can complain to you about the Idaho state trooper who gave me a ticket a few years ago while I was driving back from a remote hot spring in that fair state. There is something catahartic about shitting in the Idaho wilderness, though, I must say.

Alphonso said...

I believe it is an opportunity I cannot pass up. But the ticket buyers must show some mercy for the older generation. To wit: I do not wish to walk up 400 flights of narrow stairs to a nosebleed section. Much worse, attempt to walk back down again after several beers.

Isn't someone important enough to get the Goldman Sachs tickets behind home plate? For free, I mean. Because they have a friend, for example, or some opportunity for blackmail.

On the other hand, if nosebleed tickets are our only choice, I could stay in that cool bar with some of the other older dudes and watch on TV.

The important thing is the interaction with all the crazy and brilliant people who are players on this blog.

Oasisdave said...

So how many here think that the Astros, Red Sox sign stealing scandal hurts MLB in fan bases or attendance maybe similar to the strike in 94?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Hey 13Bit,
THANK YOU for pre-organizing the 2nd Annual IIHIIFIIC Meet Up, it was a highlight of last Summer meeting you all, please count me in again for this merry misadventure!