Saturday, January 18, 2020

When Aroldis Chapman is trolling you on Twitter, you're at war

Yesterday, this ditty popped up on the Interweb. 

Don't bother clicking. It's just a screen shot. What matters is that Aroldis Chapman appears to have joined the global online conga line of fans joyously ripping the Astros. It's the Ice Bucket Challenge, but with piss. And it's a sign of the impending meme war. 

These days, it's gotta be tough, being a fan of Jose Altuve. Your watch your guy, one of the most inspiring athletes of this millennium, being bashed from all sides, even from someone who not long ago wore his own pariah horns. I mean, taking shit from Aroldis Chapman... him of the bullet-ridden garage door...  wow.

Of course, it could be a fake Twitter account. Aren't all celebrities required by law to have fake accounts? The internet doesn't require guarantees of authenticity - and on Facebook, good grief, lying is legal. At this point, who cares if it's really Aroldis? We've created a world where facts are optional, and truth is determined by who makes the best viral memes, or yells loudest into their echo chambers. What if Houston's owner simply doubled-down on his team, cried "WITCH HUNT," and sued MLB and its "Yankee-appointed commissioner?" The case could reach the Supreme Court by 2022, the Justices might be Astros fans, and by then, Houston might have two more world championships to celebrate. 

But here's the thing: 

Over the last two days, a witch hunt did emerge, sort of...

Claims that Altuve and others may have wore electronic buzzers - making them hugely complicit in the scandal - went viral, without one actual live person making an accusation. Everything stems from a fake twitter account and a Reddit-style prosecution, based on videos,and photos, none of which prove anything. It's amazing how fast it spread. It's crazy. As a fan, it's intoxicating.

Listen: I hate the Astros. I hate how they built their team - by tanking for practically a decade. I hate their players, their owner, their uniforms. Thus, it's been joyous fun passing along these accusations, as they roll off the assembly line. Plus, we've got Boston and the Mets, frying in their own greases! It's the Tri-fecta! What's not to love? It's open season on Yankee arch rivals and - dammit - they brought it on themselves, because they did cheat. Load the cannons, boys! Fire at will!

But still... something screwy is happening here. We're becoming the sports version of Infowars. And Altuve, guilty or not, may never live this down. 

I gotta believe that if any Astros did wear electronic devices, it will come out, eventually. If it's true, they will need to serve suspensions, because the Players Union won't be able to protect them. But if it's not true, I wonder where all this is going? Because here's the deal: The next time, it will be the Yankees in everybody's cross hairs. 

Each of these teams, and their loyal fan bases, loathe the Yankees with the heat of a billion suns. So does half the MLB pool of fans. If you were to add all the Astros/Redsocks/Mets haters in America, it wouldn't come to 50 percent of the Yankee-haters out there, waiting for an opening. One thing we're seeing in America is a vast cultural pendulum, swinging back and forth. One of these days, the Yankees will face full-frontal attacks, whether truthful or not. We should prepare for the worst. Once Houston, Boston and the Mets have finally licked their wounds, their fans will want revenge. Buckle up.

12 comments:

13bit said...

Did you all see this?

https://twitter.com/12upSport/status/1218180575598710784?s=20

13bit said...

It WON'T be the Yankees next time because we have been vetted for a century. They have tried their worst and we are still here. Even A-Rod survived the gauntlet.

And yes, I am disgusted by the bullying of Twitter - look at what they just did to Stephen King - but this is real, this is now, and I'M DRINKING THAT PISS KOOL ADE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Let them hurl their balls of shit at the Yankees. We can take it.

Carl J. Weitz said...

13 Bit....Yankee fans will never have a problem with Yankee haters. Because we're good enough, we are smart enough-and damnit, people like us!

13bit said...

Amen, Carl!

Anonymous said...

"THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE...ONLY WITH PISS."

THAT MAY BE MY FAVORITE LINE, EVER, MR. DUQUE...

FUCK THE YANKEE HATERS!

IT'S US AGAINST THE WORLD...

...AND DAMMIT, WE'RE WINNING.

13bit said...

AMEN, again, ALL CAPS!

Crush their steroid nuts in a vise!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Bitty, that twitter address doesn't come up with anything. And what ARE they doing to Stephen King? (Boy, I'd be scared to do anything at all to a man with that much money and that imagination.)

13bit said...

Hoss, That Twitter link should have worked, and it always drives me crazy that I cannot post an active link on this blog, but I just sent you a screen grab from the proton mail account that we used for the get together. I am sitting outdoors in the Florida sun. Please let me know if you got it and feel free to post it. I think it’s a pretty devastating factoid

13bit said...

Also, I just copied and pasted it into my browser and it did work, FWIW, as they say.

TheWinWarblist said...

It's wintery mix in New York.

13bit said...

The guy I'm renting this place from just said to me - "Did you hear, it's going to be in the 40s on Tuesday?" and he looked like he was watching Godzilla walk out of Tokyo Bay. I just smiled and said "I'm ready..."

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