Listen: It sucks to be a NYC sports fan - to be drained of hope, to be neutered, to be sentenced year after year to watching your team taken for granted by a gaggle of incompetent billionaires. They say every dog has its day. Not in NY. Season after season, NYC teams come up empty, while small markets hoist flags and trophies. Our votes don't matter.
Well, I am hereby ditching this ongoing NYC barf bag. No more Mr. Nice Fan.
The World Series is here, and as far as I'm concerned, we should turn this into a blog about Emily in Paris. I'm rooting for Epsilon - which is not a boomer drug for Restless Leg Syndrome, but a weather system in the Bermuda Triangle. It needs to grow a pair, soak Miami and then hit Tampa like an Eddie Rabbit memories tour.
Meanwhile, we need a Covid outbreak on the Dodgers and Rays - maybe the MLB sushi chef? - which halts the WS after six. As Halloween turns into Thanksgiving, Commissioner Cupcakes would declare 2020 a sister-kissing tie, and tell everyone to go the fuck home and forget this season ever happened.
That would be Karma, which is not a Tucker Bowtie slap at the lady running for VP. It's what NY fans need. Let the Dodgers and Rays celebrate a joint championship - with Tampa hosting a White Power seniors golf cart parade through The Villages, while the Dodgers join Gal Gadot in a celebrity YouTube singalong.
LA can shed the "also-ran" rep it has earned over the years, and Tampa can experience the rapture of having to pay players for their work. My guess: Within two years, the Dodgers will have drained all joy from Mookie, and the Rays will have bottled Randy Arozarena and set him out with the Cuban tide.
We need a tie. We need NO CLOSURE. We need rain and sleet, so that everyone in Florida and California can feel the way we do when Gary Sanchez comes up with the bases full.
Yeah, I guess I'm a bad sport. The Food Stamps Hal Yankees killed me. The Mara-Tische Giants killed me. The Johnson Jets, the Dolan Knicks & Rangers - the Islanders, Devils, Nets, everybody - they killed me. Does anybody really expect Yankee fans to forgive and forget, and to cheer the next champion? Nope. Take us home, Epsilon. They're all yours.
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14 comments:
So endeth the JuJu ...
Well, all of the games will be in Arlington, TX. The new stadium they are playing in has a dome. You could wish for the COVID thing, but they are in a bubble there. Not a pleasant prospect for a tie.
What we need to push for is a big huge asterisk. Season doesn't count in my eyes. These playoffs had no off days and that affected the Yanks in a big way considering how decimated their pitching staff was injury-wise. The playing field was virtually slanted...
Interesting take on our pitching coach...
https://yanksgoyard.com/2020/10/19/yankees-mlb-scout-destroys-pitching-coach-matt-blake/
We suck and got what we deserved.
Let the Dodgers finally get their rings. Tampa deserves the shot, and might pull it off, but the Dodgers. Quite a team.
Can't we wish for an earthquake and the whole stadium to be swallowed whole, then have the earth belch up some dinosaur bones and a smoking crater?
Can there be lava too, bitty? I like lava!
“Well, I am hereby ditching this ongoing NYC barf bag.”
So long. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out and cause another bout of your unrelenting solipsistic verbal diarrhea.
And, for the record, no one ever accused you of being Mr. Nice Fan.
Weather systems? Karma? Those are both sufficiently generic and meaningless to not be taken seriously.
But did you really wish COVID-19 on those teams simply because they justifiably and deservedly beat the shit out of your pathetic Yankees?
Your biting sarcasm, the hallmark of this website, has reached its breaking point. If you are so ashamed of your blessed team of losers and their enablers, just hang it up for a while, like a couple of seasons till the Yankees get back on track, maybe 2025 if you live that long Maybe try some AA meetings while you’re on your leave of absence.
“I guess I’m a bad sport.” Wow – that’s news to us. Winnie and Bitty are, as usual, caustic but in a humorous way.
But you have sunk to the depths of irrelevance in the most hateful way possible.
Fuck Hal, fuck Cashman, fuck Boone, but FUCK YOU TOO. Is it really necessary to wish a deadly virus on those teams, even when we all know this season will forever be distinguished by an asterisk?
Give it a rest.
So long. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out and cause another bout of your unrelenting solipsistic verbal diarrhea.
And you show up here every day to read and complain about what is written, why?
@Anon...
Have you any idea the significance of "Give it a rest" on this site?
Betcha you don't know...
Can't root for the Dodgers. Not ever, though I do admire the team they built.
They were "America's Team," making money hand over fist. Then they left Brooklyn because their owner wanted to make even more money. Fuck them. I even wanted the Red Sox to beat them.
It is a tough time, though, Duque. All of these teams just seem to have settled into acceptance of their status quo mediocrity. And it goes on and on.
I mean, it's been 51 years and counting since the Jets were even IN the Super Bowl.
The Rangers are closing in on the halfway point of equaling their 54-year Cup-less streak. The Islanders last won it during Reagan's first term. Even the Devils are in decline, "somewhere in the swamps of Jersey."
Knicks? 47 years since they won it all, 21 since their last final (in a shortened season). Nets? Nothing since Dr. J.
Only the Yanks and Giants retain some cred, and their last championships are rapidly receding in the rearview mirror. The Giants still have years of rebuilding—if they do it at all—and the Yanks could well be on a swift decline. It's frightening how much better these other rosters are.
Even worse, nobody seems THAT upset about it all. It's as if sports itself gets a big shrug around the Big Apple these days.
What does everyone think? Could it be that the combination of ever-rising prices and ever-declining performances has now reached a critical mass where real, old-fashion rooting for the home team—real fanaticism—has at last imploded in New York?
I agree with everything here to a great extent. However, being a Rangers fan, I see lots of hope. They did a reconstruct in a mature manner, being very honest with a rabid fanbase and season tickets holders. They got great hockey people in charge with Ranger cred and got into youth, etc.( With some luck in the pingpong balls.) Plus, they work under a hard salary cap, not a luxury cap. They will be extremely fun to watch next season. The Yanks, not so much.
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