To a national audience, Yankees showcase "Night of 1,000 Flaws"

When it ended, when it was finally over, I was ready. I'd moved on, accepted my fate, and was moving into the Darkness. It hadn't phased me when Tampa tacked on another run, or when yet another Yankee fanned on three pitches. I just wanted it over... 

Depending on tonight - Masahiro Tanaka v Charlie Morton - a swift death might be our best hope. 

Jeeze, you wonder, what happened to steal your confidence? Well, last night happened. One single game epitomized the Yankee failures of 2020. Nine little innings showed why the Death Star finished a distant second. We can talk about the Yankee injuries this year. It's called "excuse-making." All season, the Yankees failed to get things done, and last night offered a supreme package of their hubris and futility. The flaws...

1. Once again, as he has done all season, Aaron Boone tried to get cute, and it backfired. I thought Boone might use Deivi Garcia as a bullpen opener, a Trojan Horse. On paper, it looked like a plan. The problem was the human gopher-ball factory named J.A. Happ. 

Supposedly, after the game, Happ had to gall to suggest that he didn't like being brought in during the second inning, as if he's such a finely honed artiste that the change threw him off. Wow. That's the dumbest statement from a veteran since the epic Luis Tiant Yankee Franks commercial, when he said, "It's great to be a wiener!" 

I wanted Garcia to get a second inning, to see if he could settle down and give us a quality start. It was worth a shot. Instead, Happ basically killed our chances with two rotten innings. Instead of going with youth, we turned to the old guy. Typical Yankee move. 

2. Last night's announcers heralded Tampa pitchers for setting an MLB playoff record with 18 (eighteen) strikeouts. A staff of Nolan Ryans! History in the making!

I would have put it another way: the Yankee lineup etched its name into the  annals of mediocrity. 

Leading the team, with three Ks apiece, was Aaron Judge, Luke Voit, Clint Frazier and - of course - Gary Sanchez. Many came with runners in scoring position, an added bonus.  

3. No wrap-up of Yankee malfeasance is complete without an extra hat-tip to Sanchez, who has become certifiably sad and awful. Regardless of how the clubhouse feels, Boone should start Kyle Higashioka throughout the remaining post-season. Last night, not only did Gary fan thrice, but his lone batted ball was a grounder to third - a surefire DP for such a plodding runner - reminding us of what a rally-killing machine Sanchez has become. As he walks to the plate, you can feel hope draining through the TV.

He added a passed ball and a flubbed throw to second, as the Rays suddenly became base-stealers. All season, they've not been known for running. But last night was different. Gary Sanchez was catching.

4. Two games into a bullpen draining abyss, Boone still has yet to use his stopper, Aroldis Chapman. The Water Cannon last pitched on Sept. 30, a week ago, and throughout his career, he has been notoriously wild after long layoffs. Tampa has used its pitching guns as needed, while Boone clings to his late-inning rule book: El Chapo only in the ninth.

Well, the longer he sits, the more likely he is to walk the bases full when his name is finally called. Right now, I'd hate to rely on him in a nail-biter. Moreover, the Yankees could lose the next two and finish without even using their supposed best closer. (It's actually Zack Britton, but that's another thing.) 

5. This hurts to say, because my fave is Clint Frazier, but in the ninth last night, after the Rays pitcher had walked two batters and was displaying the body language of Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, the Yankees needed a grinder. And we had one: LH Brett Gardner, waiting on the bench. It was a perfect moment for a base hit or a walk. But the Yankees were shooting for a three-run homer.

And that, right there, sums up the 2020 Yankees.

Frazier fanned on a 3-2 pitch that was six inches above the strike zone (though, to be fair, the ump was terrible last night.) Then came Gary and - well - we all knew where that was going. Strikeout. DJ LeMahieu singled - a meaningless run - and Judge quickly fanned. 

Oh, well, like I said, by then, I was ready. They were doing me a favor.

Oh, one last thing. I'm stunned at how much the death of Eddie Van Halen hurts. For that one, I was not ready.