Virtual Off-Day: Madness Reigns! Chappie to DL! The Man of Knowledge is Back! Mystery Reliever on Roster! Weird Vibrations Around Stadium!

A special interstellar sort of madness seemed to engulf the virtual World Series on its second off-day today.  

It started when Yankees ace Gerrit Cole overrode his manager, Ma Boone, and announced that he would go on short rest in Game Six. 

"I told him that even an ace on short rest isn't an ace anymore. We need to win two games, not one," Ma told reporters. But Cole insisted on making the start.

Meanwhile, in more bad news for the virtual Yankees, the team's closer, Chappie Chapman, the Man with the Amazing Melting Hand, went to the disabled list, reportedly because of his perpetually moist paw but also because doctors wanted "to take a good look at his intestinal fortitude," according to the Yankees training staff.

But the most unsettling development had to be the number of strange, psychic/political/extraterrestrial forces that seemed to be descending upon the Bronx, in anticipation of the Yanks' last stand there.  These were many, ranging from FBI reports that entire busloads of Chinese agents—pretending to be tourists visiting the Bronx Zoo—had been seen lurking around the Stadium. 

At the same time, two of Russia top intelligence operatives, named only as "B. Badenov" and "N. Fatale" were said to be in the area. And earlier in the day, while Yankees virtual GM Brain Cashman cowered in his special anti-Eagle bunker, deep in the bowels of the Stadium, "SURRENDER DOROTHY" appeared in sky writing above the ballpark.

All of these events paled in comparison, though, to the gigantic, glowing, humming rings of light that descended from the evening sky and surrounded the House That Bloomie Built, reverberating up and down the Stadium walls before vanishing abruptly into the darkness.

When they had ended, a few stunned observers noticed a lone figure, walking a little gingerly toward the players' entrance, a bat held over his shoulder.

"A hero will arise," he said, "And here I am."

Yes, it was that Yanqui Man of Knowledge, Giancarlo Stanton, looking much the same as he had in his (occasional) playing days before the 2020 season, and his long spiritquest around the continent.

"I had forgotten the first stone of knowledge. That is, to your own self be true," said Stanton, who looked as if he had been pumping iron and models nonstop for weeks.

Soon after he went into the stadium, Ma Boone announced that he would be replacing Mike Tauchman on the Series roster, after Talkie was said to have an extremely painful hangnail, and "more than one" paper cut.

But more intriguing was another roster move the Yankees made, placing reliever Adam Ottavino on the DL, where he was listed as suffering from, "general uselessness."  

Replacing Mr. Zero was...a mystery man.  A strangely familiar figure who nobody could quite place, was seen throwing in the twilight, out in the Yankee bullpen.

"Who is that unmasked man?" several reporters from the national press asked—but only the Stadium shadows knew for sure.