Virtual World Series: DeGrom is Delightful, He's Delicious, He's De-lovely...He's De-ath on De Yankees. Pence Declares Self "President for Now," Calls Off Search for First Family.

Jacob deGrom sent the virtual New York Mets buzzing out of Flushing with a commanding 3-2 lead in the World Series, shooting down the Bombers with a little help from the ex-Yankees Trio of Wilson, Shreve, and Toonces.

Virtual Yankees starter Masahiro Tanaka gave it all he had, nearly leaving assorted parts of his arm literally on the mound. But Tanaka gave up long home runs to the Polar Bear and the Jogging Man that gave the Mets a 3-0 lead they never quite surrendered.

A home run by Aaron Hicks that hit the overhang in rightfield got the Yankees on the board, but that was all she wrote. A tiring deGrom walked two batters with two outs in the sixth, but Wilson came in to fan the mysteriously playing Mike Ford. 

Shreve picked up Wilson in the seventh, fanning The Gleyber to end the inning with two on, then Betances K'd Voit to end the eighth, and finished off the ninth by fanning Gary Sanchez with the bases loaded to end the game, much to the surprise of everyone who had admired the Sanchino's revived slugging this season.  

"You know you're really en fuego when you can get Gary Sanchez out in a big, clutch situation," virtual Ma Boone said after the game. "Sometimes you just have to tip your cap and call Dellin your former-head-case-whacko-turned-Mets-closer."

In other news, Mike Pence refused to invoke the 25th Amendment to certify his succession today, telling reporters, "Let's just call me, 'President for Right Now.'"

P.F.R.N. Pence also confirmed that the search for President Trump, his family, and most of the executive branch had been called off.

"Hey, people go missing sometimes. What're you gonna do? They're adults, they'll find their way home. Now, who wants fried oysters?" asked Pence, commencing one of the more popular features of his daily press conferences.