Yanks of 2004 can breathe easier: They remain the greatest collapse in baseball history

Well, well, well... Tampa won last night, achieving what we surely would not have: Elimination of the vile, forever-tarnished Houston Astros. 

Thus, the 2004 Yankees keep sole ownership of the most shameful, shit-pie meltdown in sports history. Hooray for us.

Sixteen years later, the Yankees have yet to take even a minor revenge upon Boston, the team it dominated, once upon a time, in a universe long, long ago and far, far away.  

In this sad, Hal Steinbrenner-led millennium, the Redsocks have more rings to flash, more flags to raise, and more championships to celebrate. They function as our masters, outwitting us at every turn. 

And now, their strategy of tanking in the abbreviated 2020 season will bring them the 4th pick in next year's draft. And all our talk about signing Trevor Bauer or others... it must take into account Boston's willingness to spend.

Thus, the Yankees - by far, America's richest sports team - will agonize over whether they can re-sign their best player, D.J. LeMahieu, due to all the wasted money going to Giancarlo Stanton, Aroldis Chapman and the cast of Schitt's Creek. 

Meanwhile, fan cries for change are derisively dismissed by the Yankee-owned or controlled media, a system of modern day courtiers. The fundamental lie - that the Steinbrenner family simply cannot afford these high-priced players - remains the core philosophy of those who cover the team.

Congrats to Tampa, gold standard of the AL East. But a warning: They should beware the Blue Jays and Orioles, both ascending teams. 

And who knows, maybe the Yankees will trade for another Javier Vasquez! There is always a Wild Card in our future.