Wednesday, November 10, 2021

You thought 2021 was a bad year? Cashman says "Mission Accomplished!"

Well, well... who's the good boy! WHO'S THE GOOBOY! Why... you're the gooboy! Yes you are! Hey, who wants his belly scratched! WHO WANTS A BELLY SCRATCH? Why... YOU DO! Gooboy wants a belly scratch! Oooooo, gooboy. How about a treat? Gooboy wanna treat? Sit. No... SIT! NO TREAT UNTIL YOU SIT! Gooboy. Who's my gooboy?

Master has good news. Master says he's gonna buy us something very, very special! A treat! Master's gonna give us a treat!

And look... LOOK at all the players we're considering! We're considering everybody. Our bowl runneth over. 




So, where do we start? Hmm. I'll take a $300 million SS. And a $200 million 1B. A $100 million CF? Sure! How about two? Can I come back for seconds? I'll need a bigger bowl. Isn't this fun - grabbing free agents willy-nilly, no care in the world? How about another DH? What if ours gets hurt? Make it two. 

Thank you, Mr. Hal! You know, I was telling everyone just the other day what a generous owner you are, how you're not like the others, how you only care about winning, and how, to you, money is piss.

So... um, actually... I was sorta thinking that the Yankees might not want to drop $300 million on a SS, you know, because our two top prospects play SS? No big deal. And that's fine. Go for it. Especially if you're also bringing back Anthony Rizzo and signing a CF. Don't let me stop you. Oh, and don't forget catcher! 

So, aren't we the lucky ones? The Yankees are "checking in" on everyone. I bet the Brewers don't do that. But the Yankees are back! Pass the word. And the mashed potatoes.

Most of all, let's celebrate 2021. Yesterday, believe it or not, Brian Cashman invoked the memory of George W. Bush - the Hal Steinbrenner of presidents. 

"Clearly it was mission accomplished from last year, getting under the CBT (Competitive Balance Tax)," Cashman said. "[Payroll is  going to have to be higher] because we don't have a lot of stuff coming off. I have some latitude." 

"Mission accomplished!" And you thought 2021 was a downer? Why, simply because we lost to Boston? Get over it. Bad dog! And now, just look at the buffet! I feel like Joe Namath on TV: "Make the call! It's FREEEEE!" Who's the gooboy! WHO'S THE GOOBOY!

9 comments:

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Celerino Sanchez said...

And I do expect the Yankees to become the Afghanistan of MLB

JM said...

Bit, watchu talkin' about?

Cashman revealed that the actual primary goal was to get under the tax level. Not winning. That was just bullshit to feed the Gammonite press and give YES guys something to wave like a banner.

We used to wave pennants and WS flags at the stadium. Now we wave "Winning!" banners.

Can CBS buy the team from Hal? Please?

ranger_lp said...

A quote from a well known person..

"There will be so much winning, you're head is going to spin!"

SMH

ZacharyA said...

I think my big worry about signing one of the big-name shortstops is that it will greatly reduce the odds of extending Aaron Judge.

Let's fast forward to 2023. Hal has set payroll at $230M. Yes, I know that's high but let's just say the new CBA sets the luxury tax threshold around that area. Hal still wants to generally stick to that line.

Three players — Gerrit Cole ($36M), Giancarlo Stanton ($32M), and Carlos Correa ($30M) — make up 43% of your 40-man roster payroll. You've already greatly limited your flexibility. How do you add an Aaron Judge extension to that?

Because of his age, Judge isn't going to get a lengthy contract. I'd bet at 5 or 6 years max. But he is going to get a very high AAV, probably around $30M barring a disastrous 2022.

Gerrit Cole ($36M), Giancarlo Stanton ($32M), Carlos Correa ($30M), and Aaron Judge ($30M) would total $128M or 56% of payroll. ON JUST FOUR PLAYERS.

I just don't know how sustainable this is.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, don't worry, Zach. HAL and Brain aren't really going to sign anybody to a big contract. At best, we're going to get some more veteran pitchers who have been on the DL for a year or two.

We're going to get Carlos Correa just like we got Bryce Harper and Manny Machado, Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander. Etc., etc.

Chances are, we're not even going to get Rizzo.

What we ARE going to get is lots of leaks about how this or that player really doesn't want to come to New York, or wants to go somewhere else, or has some crazy demand for money or years.

Because we are, after all, a small market club barely struggling to get by.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Oh, and now the Mets are saying they can't sign a new GM because people are so afraid of New York?

Right.

Because, you know, the very rich are always in such danger here.

Ah, Mets! I keep wishing they could turn it around and pressure HAL. No can do, I guess.

Barney said...

You mean the way you viciously abused Ralph Nader? That's just fine? You can dish it out but can't take it, like a typical bully? And then you call the cops when you get back a little taste of your own abuse? Nice!

Goat said...

Who are you? Do you realize how sick you sound? Of course not.