If Volpe can hit, say, 30 HRs, it would herald a breakout year. He could become a bedrock part of the Yankee infield and an offensive weapon. He's off to a great start: Two HRs! It's not exactly Ruthian: He's one of 34 MLB hitters with two or more. So, in a perfect world, NYC would be celebrating Volpe's potential big year. Start spreadin' the news, right?
Well, no. Sadly, Volpe's output has become Exhibit A in the media's ongoing prosecution of the Yankees, a tribunal that never ends. Instead of hope for Volpe, Austin Wells and Jazz Chisholm - each of whom has two or more HRs - the tabloids have questioned whether "torpedo" bats have caused the recent surge. Last night, like trained seals, the network TV news reports weighed in: Are torpedo bats a threat to your children? Do they undermine truth, justice and the American way?
It was as if Volpe didn't hit the HRs. His bat did.
Listen: If the KC Royals had belted 15 HRs over the weekend in Milwaukee, think we'd know about it? But in NYC, someone's gotta channel Al Pacino: "I'M OUTA ORDER? YOU'RE OUTA ORDER!" There's always an outrage, a reason to scream.
Listen: I'm not bemoaning "fake news." Warts and all, the feral news media remains one of the NYC's great traditions. Be it Pizza Rat or Abe Beam, there's always something to raise our blood pressure. But if you're a Yank fan - or if you follow any NY team - here we fucking go again.
The Yankees enjoy three high-scoring games, and - of course! - they must be using illegal undocumented bats. The Mets sign Juan Soto, and - of course! - they're overpaying. The Giants keep their coaches, because they cannot change. The Jets fire their coaches, because they are unstable. The Knicks and Rangers - fuckit - they're the Knicks and Rangers. Now, we can add St. John's basketball, and every glorious flop will reassure us that the media's doomsday rage was right all along.
Can't we ever have nice things?
Must we break every toy, moments after unwrapping it?
Listen: As cynical and pessimistic Yank fans, we know what's coming:
A market correction. Instead of 10 runs in one game, we'll score one run in 10. Volpe's third HR? It might come in May.
Is anything less meaningful than the first weekend of a baseball season. A guy hitting .400? An opposite field HR? A new season of Tracker? Something, anything, to do with a Kardashian? Damn...
But every year, we pour all our hopes into NY teams, and nothing changes, except - what? - the barrel of the bats? Gimme a break. Wake me at the end of April, then we'll debate Volpe's power surge.
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9 comments:
Bartender, give me one of what Boone is drinking...
This post aged well as the Royals destroyed the Brewers last night...
And Elly De La Cruz using Torpedo has himself a night....ofc there was no outcry 😒
Wells, Chisholm, Bellinger, these guys looked to have a really good year even before the start of spring training. Torpedo bats ain't got nothing to do with it.
And even if the bats do help, it's about time that the offense got a jolt. I don't know about you guys, but I don't like 1-0, 2-1 baseball games with 18 strikeouts by each team. The pitching, with the spider tack and the spin rates and the 100 mph throwers, and the stream of one inning relievers sucked all the fun out of the game. If the batters found an equalizer, then I'm all for it.
But that said, Yankee bats brutalizing Brewer pitching had little or nothing to do with the new bats. Brewer pitching was atrocious. They made countless mistakes, fat pitches over the plate. You do that to a lineup loaded with power, you're going to pay.
Yankees all of a sudden have a very left handed lineup. That's good, real good.
What I like about the lineups so far, Boone has staggered the lefties & righties. That can prevent the pitcher from getting into a rhythm of throwing to a one sided lineup or hitters of one side bunched up together. A lot of pitchers throw differently depending on whether it's a lefty or righty hitter. Staggering the lineup often causes numerous mistakes by the pitcher.
The cheatin' ASS-stros only have one lefty hitter in their lineup. Hope a lot of teams can take advantage of that.
Yanks just signed Adam Ottazero...
WHY????
Ottavino again. Jesus. Fucking Cashman.
Now we know why Williams was such a head case the other day. He was placed on maternity leave today. Ottanothing, having been released by the Sux (after a 10+ era in ST) will be a plug-in until the junior Williams pops out.
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