Milwaukee just achieved what would be an impossibility for the '26 Yankees.

Last night, the Milwaukee Brewers mocked God... and the Yankees. 

They performed two impossibilities, two miracles, two glitches in The Matrix, two Old Testament cataclysms, two signs that the End Is Near... 

They scored 10 runs, without one homer. 

They scored eight runs in the 5th inning, all with two outs. 

Okay, settle down, everybody. For those of you who are deeply rooted into our Liberty-Bibberty, quicksand, time-and-space conundrum - aka our sad reality - let me recap...

The Brewers scored eight runs with two outs and not one homer. 

Impossible! you say. This challenges the boundaries of astrophysics, the landscapes of human consciousness. It might just prove the existence of God. Or Dave Kingman. Is it a mass hallucination? Did some supernatural entity, while we slept, just reboot our home page? Are we reliving this, over and over, to power a gigantic, otherworldly Commodore 64?

Listen. It's one thing to score 10 runs. Every now and then, the '26 Yankees would hang a ten-spot. They'd find some dishrag reliever and turn a close game into a laugher, often ending with a position player lobbing strikes. They would suddenly look like the powerhouse that our YES Channel overlords proclaimed them to be. And one of our supreme joys would be to look up the box score and tally the five or six HRs we hit. You never knew. Ten runs could mean 10 solo shots. 

After all, the Yankees finished second in all of MLB - with 223 home runs, three behind miserable Houston. Meanwhile, the lowly Brewers finished 28th (out of 30), hitting a mere 154. Pathetic, eh? I mean, what kind of baseball is that? 

And WTF happened last night? Oh well, disregard it. We've got Ruth, Maris, Reggie, Judge... the Yankees are synonymous with home runs, right? So, stay the course, right?