The Official NY Yankees "Hump Day" Game Thread -–- HYPNO˘FRIED !

 

Yanks make playoffs, prompting Boone to say naughty word: Ten Takeaways

Okay, Boonie Blasters, as they say on TV: We can do dis duh easy way, or we can do dis duh hard way... 

Congrats to Boone and his zany cast of Goodfellas, Sopranos, McHale's Navy the '25 Yankees. We still don't know how this show will end. (Who figured last year's climactic fiasco?) But as we stumble toward the last-ever world series with umps who pee, the Yanks at least have a seat at the table. In July, they looked like experimental mice on one of Musk's rocket test disasters. Now, it's Houston who wears the albatross, (though Detroit may steal it.) 

Either way, we get to watch Gleyber or Lil Jose get Septembered. (I speak for the Yankiverse: Let it be the midget.) 

Okay, as promised, 10 takeaways from last night...

1. The postgame pollen party coaxed Boone to say the unthinkable: He used the s-word. Via the IT IS HIGH language sanitizer, Boone spake, "Don't take that poop for granted." How dare he! I can only imagine what horrible words escape his potty mouth when he's peed-off at a home ump. (Something he won't sweat next year.)  

2. Kudos to the ninth inning comeback. But honestly, this felt more like a Whitesock giveaway than Yankee heroism. With the tying run on third, the Chisocks pitcher flings a hail Mary pass out of the endzone, (a la the Jersey Giants' Russell Wilson.) Jose Caballero came through, but it was the Socks who blew that game. 

3. Anthony Volpe is hot - well, actually, warm - and, apparently, on track to start in the postseason. By my calculation, it will happen right around the time his cortisone shot wears off. Not whining. Just sayin'.

4. Last night's win must have clanked in both Toronto's and Boston's locker rooms. I imagine them watching, cheering each Yankee out, as the end approached. Instead of showing the Yankees celebrate, YES should have gone live from the Redsocks clubhouse. Now, that would have been fun. 

5. A month ago, last night's loss might have broken the Whitesocks, maybe launched a losing streak. But you can't break what's broke. Chicago is a bunch of young players looking to impress for next year. Over the next two nights, they won't phone it in.

6. The Million Met March is once again viable. Damn. Last night, Mr. Mercenary went 1-4 with a walk. Wouldn't a season-ending slump be wonderful?

7. Won't happen. Fortunately, for the Mets, the Cubs have clinched a wild card and have nothing to lose (though they have to worry more about the Mets than the D-backs or Reds.) 

7. Luis Gil pitched well enough to probably secure the third - and potentially season-defining - slot in the rotation. But I don't like hearing that his fastball has dropped from 98 mph last year to 92. In the early innings, Gil dances in and out of trouble. I don't look forward to that, especially if the season is on the line. 

8. As disturbing as it sounds, from an end-of-times perspective, I favor using robo-umps behind home plate. There's something about a blown call: When the ump calls a wrongful strike on Jazz Chisholm, you can see all his positive energy sink into the void. The lone downside: I believe robo-umps will help HR-dependent, one-true-outcome batters. In my opinion, the greatest threat to the game is too many strikeouts and walks, and hitters who swing for the fences. 

9. Tonight, Rodon. Who would ever thought he might become a fan favorite? 

10. Damn, I shouldn't have said 10. I got nothing.       

What are you doing New Year's Eve...I mean, the week of October 12th?

 I'm flying to New York on October 12th and staying until the 20th. 

My sis is coming to town to spend the 14th and 15th with me, but apart from that, I'd love to see any of the ne-er-do-wells who frequent this blog.

We could get together somewhere and watch a playoff game or just get together and have a drink or two.

Anyway, if anyone is interested, let's work out a date.

In other news...hey, we made the playoffs! We're one game back of the Jays (I know, the tiebreaker makes it two, but don't harsh my buzz, man)! Boone is still an idiot! (Oh, that's not a good thing.)

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

An Above Average Haiku Tøøzeday – A Wee Bit Giddy, Bitty – Edition ! NEWSFLASH ! – According to an "Anonymous Authority" this Haiku will now double as tonight's Game Thread.

 ITS A HARD-KNOCK LIFE

THAT'S WHY I USE A DOORBELL

MAY I HAVE A TREAT ?

Entering the final week, the 2025 IT IS HIGH Readers Race is a dogfight

Remember last March? Of course, you do. The peace talks for Gaza. The peace talks for Ukraine. The tariffs. The wildfires. Mikey Madison. Katie and Orlando... Splitsville. 

O, we were so much older then, we're younger than that now... 

That's why today we ponder the greatest headline of March 2025: the annual IT IS HIGH Reasoning Readers Prognosis Poll, taken on the eve of the MLB opener - long long ago, last March.  

Yes, it was the chance to showcase your expertise, your intuitive genius, by predicting the exact number of Yankee regular season victories to be harvested in 2025. And vote you did. 

So, where does everybody stand? 

Entering the season's final week - six games left - the Death Barge has 90 wins. That puts Rufus T. Firefly in the lead, most likely to clinch the unfathomable prize of spiritual and emotional drool.  

As for the tiebreakers, Aaron Judge is currently sitting on 49 HRs, and The Martian, Jasson Dominguez, is hitting a rather nondescript .257. 

With a week to go, it's time to ponder our spring expectations, which, for the most part, involved visions of gloom. (You know who you are. And, alas, so do I.)

Generally, we foresaw a stark decline from 2024, when the Yankees won 94 regular season games. We anticipated a mediocre team, chasing the wild card (which, to be sure, has become what the Yankees do every year.) 

Don't shoot me, but I have a theory that will piss some of you off. Could it be that we - as masters of misery and sayers of sooth - are underestimating the Yankee condition? If you add tiebreakers, we are three losses behind Toronto (for the AL East) and two ahead of Boston (for the wild card series home field advantage.) 

But but BUT... what if the Yankees run the table? It's not impossible. Six wins over the cupcake White Socks and the phone-it-in O's. That would fetch us 96 wins, which practically nobody here - that's right, only Hammer of God offered 96 - thought possible last spring. 

Considering our record of despair, could it be that things are actually better than we think?

No.

Nope. Don't see it. No matter how you slice this gristle, Aaron Boone is still the manager, and he'll whip the bullpen like a dying team of sled dogs, until Luke Weaver's severed arm is on the ground between home plate and pitchers mound. We're still the team most dependent upon HRs - usually with nobody on. And everybody knows what happens when homer-happy hitters face great pitching, which is exactly what is coming.

Nope. I'm thinking 94 wins - congrats to Rufus - and a second-round October knockout. 

On that note, a special shout out to our three most depressed prophets - 13BIT, Stang and Hoss - all of whom pictured the '25 Yanks on a par with the Washington Nats. Congrats: You managed to make even Alphonso look hopeful. 

Ah, March. Is it my imagination, or did it seem happier? Here we are, the world smoldering, our cities on fire, the hurricanes are just forming... 

I say, let the staggering gloom of our predictions remind us: 

We're better off than we expected to be. 

Seriously. Nobody here thought Trent Grisham would hit 30 HRs. Nobody ever heard of Cam Schlittler, unless it was to mock the name. Ben Rice? We'd be happy with 15 HRs. Gerrit Cole was gone, and who thought Will Warren would step up? 

Listen: We're better off than we expected to be. 

Six left. Dare I say it... Ryan McBroom?

Six left. Three down. Ten takeaways.

 

Six left. Three down against Toronto (counting tie-breaker.) Two up on Boston (counting tie-breaker.) 

$#%@ tiebreakers...

Ten taketh aways...

1. Tonight, Boston hits Toronto for first of three. Giolito v Gausman (advantage: Jays.) Then Crochet v Scherzer (advantage: Boston.) Then Bello v Bieber (advantage: Us.) 

2. Mets are in the shit. Tied with Cinncy, (thus behind with the tiebreaker.) One up on Arizona - sad, awful Arizona - for last NL playoff spot. They finish with Cubs and Marlins. (While D-Backs play Dodgers and Padres.) After all the pearl-clutching, Mets still have shot at postseason. But it's starting to pinch.

3. If Mets fail - fondle me, o, Calgon Bath Oil Beads! If the Mets fail, Juan Soto spends the winter carping about whatever - skin tags, support socks, the Emmys, security guards, the running toilet in his sky box - and Steve Cohen will blow out his left gonad. He might sign a Yankee - Cody Bellinger or Trent Grisham - to claim some tabloid back pages. But what a colossal glump. Can you taste it?   

4. The Rangers are this year's Chernobyl Home Team Meltdown (though Tigers are smoking.) Because Texas self-immolated, there is far less stress on AL contenders Boston, Cleveland, Houston and Yanks. All are basically guaranteed postseason berths. Thank you, Governor Roosevelt.

5. Tomorrow, Detroit visits Cleveland for climactic three-game party. Then, next weekend, it's Boston. If they lose, they're next big games should be against the Savannah Bananas.    

6. Jays and Redsocks spent 2025 touting young stars. Yeah? Well, tout THIS: I'll take Ben Rice, any time. Among AL DHs, Rice is 4th in OPS, with .823 - (behind George Springer, Yandy Diaz and Brent Rooker.) Giancarlo doesn't qualify, not enough ABs, but his OPS would be 2nd, behind Springer, at .919.

7. Cal Raleigh is on a tear and could hit 60. (He has 58.) But I'll still take Aaron Judge for MVP: He wins the batting title and rises nearly .600 points ahead of Raleigh in OPS. Not close. Certainly, you can understand a vote for Raleigh - he's great - but in hitting, there is Judge, and there is everybody else, including your mom. (And she can't hit lefties.) 

8. That said, Judge needs to show up in the playoffs. Just sayin...  

9. Big element in yesterday's win: In the first, Cam Schlittler struck out the side. He had been getting roughed up in early innings. If Schlittler can come into a game and throw strikes, he'll be a huge asset. If he can't, well, I'm not sure he makes the first-round roster. We need bullpen depth. Not a fourth starter.

10. Off-day, today. Then it's the White Sox and (surprisingly listless) Baltimore. Can we run the table? If we could run the table, wow, I wasn't thinking of that. But if we could run the table... Oh, where's my abacus? 

Today's Game Thread – 09/21/25 – Orange you glad he's OUR manager ?

 

Seven games to go. Could the Yankees run the table?

Last night restored Yankee faith in the  U.S. dollar. 

Carlos Rodon ($28 million per year) got the win, after Giancarlo Stanton ($32 million) hit a crucial HR, after Aaron Judge ($40 million) and Cody Bellinger ($28 million) singled. That's $128 million in talent, and before you scream, "The Yankees buy their wild cards!" the season still has seven games - a lifetime in NYC - to go.

Seven games. 

Toronto is stumbling, but they're phoning it in. They know it doesn't matter, they're safe in the AL East, but it sure would be nice to break the losing streak and coast. If the Yankees close another game, stress levels will rise. 

Detroit is in a freefall, ice cold, and they're starting to drool. Cleveland is MLB's hottest team, and one game separates them. 

Seattle owns the  west and will reach the postseason with the deepest pitching staff in baseball. 

Where are we? Well, we'll find out today. Win, and we just took a road  series against an angry, underachieving team that has played above .500 for the last few months. Lose, and we're looking over our shoulder, where the objects in the mirror are closer than they may seem. 

These are the playoffs, friends. And last night, the winner was money. 

Please feed this man a Baltimore Chop and the Win (GameThread – 09/20/25)

The Yankee division quest didn't end last night. Actually, that happened two months ago.

Will Warren Bucknered a bouncer, Jazz Chisholm Knoblauched a throw, and the Death Barge's slim chance of catching Toronto last night went POOF!, along with the dreadful, rotten, ugly, rancid, smoky summer of '25.

Close your eyes. 

Take a deep breath. 

Let it go.

Listen: We can rage at the stars, scream at the hillsides, throw roundhouse punches into the couch. The TV remote was made to be thrown. (Note: Do NOT hurt the TV. It's not her fault. She's been there for you all season. I know you're angry, but she did everything she could. Treat her right.) 

This malaise didn't happen last night. Cashman's Cuties had zero chance of catching Toronto, having let the months of June and July roll between their legs.

Let it go.

Eight games left. Two up over Boston in the loss column, but really, only one. If they tie us, they win home field advantage. Thus, the race will roll into next weekend, against the O's. We can still botch things. It might cost us the chance to line up Max Fried for game one in the playoffs. That's what happens when you crap the bed for two months, as the Yankees did.  

The season didn't roll through Will Warren's legs last night. That happened long ago. 

A coupla things...

1. I think Yank fans have finally forgiven Giancarlo Stanton for not being the star they wished upon. His NYC legacy will always be marred by the injuries. But, damn, the guy hits when healthy. So, can he stay healthy?

2. Next winter, I believe the Yankees will keep either Clay Bellinger or Trent Grisham, but not both. To save money (and be cheap), they'll leave LF for either The Martian or Spencer Jones. Both Bellinger and Grisham play CF with Gold Glove capabilities. How each plays in October will dictate their futures.

3. So, the playoff rotation in a three-game series? Fried, of course, then Rodon. Then everybody in game three. Considering Cam Schlittler's troubles in early innings, I wonder if he makes the playoff roster? They can't afford a pitcher who needs two innings to get his bearings.  

4. Camilo Doval has not given up a run in his last four outings. Last night, one pitch, one pop fly. He's throwing really hard. Do we dare think he's on a roll?

Donno. But this world is on fire, and tonight, summer is officially over. 

Let it go.

Game Thread – 09/19/25 – RøøT CånåL E∂itiøn

 

For the AL Cy Young award, Max Fried has entered the chat

 

(Warning: This post contains spoilers.)

Ok, let's deal with it: No matter what happens in his final two starts of 2025, Max Fried won't win the AL Cy Young. 

Nope. This year's mantle candy will go to either Tarik Skubal or Garrett Crochet, both of whom pitched well, had great seasons and will dominate in one key voter consideration: They do not play for the New York Yankees.

Even if you add, say, 10 goose egg innings to Fried's final 2025 numbers, generously projecting shutouts in his last two starts - his ERA would still land above the current outputs of Skubal and Crochet, allowing the Gammonites to stroke their anti-Yankee fetishes. (Of course, if both were bombed, it would get interesting.) As for Hunter Brown? He's next year's tuna casserole. I realize that wins and losses are an "OK Boomer" way to judge a pitcher, but when you're thinking Cy Young, 12-7 won't cut it.

So, the '25 Yankees will likely miss the MVP (Cal Raleigh over Aaron Judge), the Cy Young (Skubal over Fried) and the ROY (the entire population of Greenland over Jasson Dominquez.) Of course, everything will soon boil down to one comparison:

Who wins Game One of the Wild Card playoff, Crochet or Fried? 

The outcome of that game will ruin our erections for long after whatever bullshit awards are troweled out on ESPN's Golden Globe-knockoff red carpet extravaganza, one of the crassest outgrowths of celebrity culture since Lady Gaga's meat dress. On the All-MLB team, Judge will play RF - that's a lock - and either Jazz Chisholm or Trent Grisham could make the Second Team. But nobody will remember nuthin' if the Yankees - 2009 World Champs! - exit early in October. 

Last night, Fried was flawless - seven shutout innings against an angry and volatile team that is better than its record. Next year, he and Carlos Rodon will be joined with Gerrit Cole and Clarke Schmidt, both around mid-summer. By then, all three of our young pitchers will be coming off TJ surgery, and God knows what the OF will look like. The Martian? Spencer Jones? Grish? Belli? Only Judge is a lock, and I wonder if his elbow will need a winter makeover.

Ah, but isn't it too soon to think of next year? So, why why WHY is it on our minds? Why can't I dismiss the feeling that - with or without any crapola awards - next year is right around the corner? 

Captain's Log: Stardate 20.25.18.09.4:15 – " All our Yesterdays "

 

Dear Juju Gods, I am hereby revising my definition of a successful 2025 Yankee season.

Dear astral deities charged with the fixing of sporting events (You know who you are...)  

First, let me thank you and any other phantasmal entities for shepherding me through these dark and turbulent times. I appreciate that I haven't been shot in a Wegmans or deported to Borneo. Knock on wood.  

But today, I wish to formally revise my hopes for the 2025 Yankees.

Since the February arrival of pitchers and catchers, I have desperately wanted the Yankees to win the 2025 World Series, to avenge last year's embarrassing finale, and to break the organization's 16-year skein of cockroach-burger seasons. I'm starting to think that references to the team should include the sarcastic suffix, "2009 World Champs!" to spotlight our ongoing humiliation. 

I no longer believe I will live long enough to see the Yankees - 2009 World Champs! - win it all. They have emptied me. 

Thus, I no longer consider winning the World Series to be a realistic request. Nope. The 2025 Yankees won't get there. It's the bullpen. We've all seen it. We all know the truth: This is not a championship unit, no lead is safe, and nobody will rise from the muck to save us. 

Therefore, I humbly request a secondary outcome.

It looks as though the Yankees will face Boston in a three-game wild card series. 

Please, I beg of you, let the Yankees win it. 

That's all. Let us knock out the Redsocks. After that, feel free to unleash the humiliations. I won't carp. Well, actually, there is a second request: That Aaron Judge win the MVP award. I'm posting stats to bolster the case. I do this, because I think he'll get dissed by the voters, who love to screw the Yankees, 2009 World Champs!

So, that's all. Just let us beat Boston, and I'll not whine. And if you can, don't let Judge be overlooked simply because his great seasons are the norm. 

Do that, and I'll be happy. Even if I'm watching from a bar in Borneo.

September 17, 2025 – New Yuck Yankees Basseball – Da Thread

 no  w o r d s 

Who is the AL MVP?

Is it fat ass Raleigh? People are saying so. 

In his freakish year, he has powered the Pilots  Mariners to the postseason. While Judge has been injured, and has played while injured, the lifetime .226 Mariner (this season's .246 gave him a bump) has broken Mantle's record for home runs by a switch-hitter. An achievement of sorts. Mantle's record was 54 in 1961, injuries cutting his season short. Maris, not a switch-hitter, hit 61, his hair falling out from stress and "fan" threats.

This might lead you to think that being a switch-hitter isn't really necessary, perhaps not even desirable in the scheme of things. It's a neat skill, but Maris was not a switch-hitter, Judge is not a switch-hitter, and they have the top two HR slots for a season. So, just maybe, the whole hubbub over Raleigh setting this "record" is incredibly meaningless. If  Mantle's name wasn't involved, I think hardly anyone would give a shit.

Now, does Raleigh's great outlier year mean he should get the MVP? I can see where it would be tempting to those who decide such things, especially given the freakishness, the underdogness, the connection to the Mick, and--most importantly--the fact that it would screw over a Yankee.

Widen your browser window to get a complete view of the chart below. Hell of a year for Lard Ass. Gee, Judge didn't do too badly, either. 

(And in the NL, Schwarber has been pretty great. Alonso also did damn well. But the NL MVP is locked up because Ohtani also did a little pitching this year [he's nowhere near the pitcher Ruth was, by the way] while hitting 50 dingers. Maybe Schwarber should get it, but, you know...OMG HE'S ANOTHER BABE RUTH! No, he isn't. Not even close. But he'll get it anyway.)

But back to the AL. Should Big Butt win? He's ahead in home runs and RBIs, having 50 more ABs and blessed with no injuries. But average, OBP, slugging, OPS--not even a contest. Judge is clearly on a different planet.

Whaddya bet Raleigh wins, regardless? 

Yankees win in an embarrassment

Ahead by nine, win by one. Yikes.

Been a long time since a Yankee win conjured up the kinds of symptoms worthy of a Fox News roundup: "... ear swelling, rectal bleeding, droopy face, nasal secretions, spontaneous rooster cawing and the gleeful chattering of suicidal thoughts." 

It's hard - no, it's damn near impossible - to imagine this team - this snake-bitten, ill-fated 2025 Yankee bullpen -  lasting deep into October.

Ahead by nine, win by one. Against a second-division meatball, playing out a lost season in a half-full stadium. Wow.

Listen: In game after game, even in victories, this Yankee team is sending coded messages to its fan base:

We are doomed. Situation hopeless. It's time for football.  

Last night, as Minnesota reclaimed what should have been a laugher, YES man and former Cashman stooge Joe Girardi discussed the ways to manage a postseason bullpen. He said the key is to mix and match, to not overuse the same pitchers night after night, so the opposing team does not see them too often. If that happens, their hitters will break through. 

Yep, good thinking, there, Joe. One problem, though. Joe was imagining something that does not currently exist: a Yankee bullpen with depth. Come October, if Luke Weaver throws a scoreless inning in game one, it's guaranteed that he'll be back in game two. And game three. And four, if necessary. He'll pitch until his sphincter explodes, because that's what Aaron Boone does and - to be honest - it's not his fault, because Cooperstown Cashman built for him a house full of ticking time bombs.

Listen: There is no way our bullpen will last three rounds of postseason play. Forget the final week of October. We'll be lucky to get through the final week of September. 

Ahead by nine, win by one. Jeeze.

Game Thread – 9+16=25 (feel free to confirm for yourselves) part 2

 THIS MAN KNOWS SCHLITTLER !

An Above Average Haiku Tuesday – 9 + 16 = 25, Edition

 Darkness on the Rise

We know our Season is Done

R.I.P. Redford

The Robert Redford Yankees Collection