I know, I know, he’s a dolt. Guy’s been outcasted because he has no idea what he’s doing. He’s just a big loudmouth in the mold of his father. Yada Yada Yada. But can somebody please tell me: why did we cast aside Hank Steinbrenner so quickly?
I mean our brash, Marlboro smoking, bullshit spewing co-owner was exactly who should be running this team. Here’s a guy who would‘ve had a heart attack the second he heard we were bringing back Javy Vazquez. He would have looked at Brian Cashman like Cashmoney was speaking Swahili if Cash said, “Johnny Damon is too expensive for our budget.” He would have relegated the Johnny Pencil-pusher who thought that Nick Johnson is an upgrade over Godzilla to selling peanuts in the bleachers.
The Mets just signed Jason Bay. The Phillies got Roy Halladay. The Sawx landed El Duque’s man crush…er, John Lackey. You think all these moves would have gone unanswered if Big Hank was running the show? If Hank were in charge, Matt Holliday would be patrolling left field in the Bronx by now. We’d have Hanley Ramirez…riding the bench as a utility infielder. Tim Lincecum would be our spot starter, the 2010 version of Ramiro Mendoza. Joba? Jesus? Phil Franchise? They’d be St. Louis Cardinals, but not before we brought the Big Poo in to be our new DH. Could you imagine Sterling’s home run calls for that guy? It is High! It is Far! It isssss GONE! Hey, Hey, Hey, it’s FAAAAAAAAAAT ALBERT!!!
That, my friend, is how we roll. Sure the Yankees have been hit or miss with the big-name players through the years (See the Yankees, circa 2001-2008). It could be a smart move to bring in low key guys with little to no expectations on them (see Swisher, Nick). And everybody is saying, well the Yankees are priming for a big 2010 free agent class.
But why the hell should we resort to giving Jamie Hoffman left field so he can keep it warm for Carl Crawford? Why do we have to choose between Matt Holliday and Carl Crawford? Since when have we had to choose between Matt Holliday and Carl Crawford? Not under George’s watch, and certainly not under Hank’s watch, would that question ever come up.
That’s why I plead to the Yankees, let Hank back in control. Let him shake things up. Let him go out and do what he’s genetically predisposed to do: spend money on ballplayers like it’s going out of style. Fuck the Budget. Bring back Damon. Bring in Holliday. Sign that Cuban kid who throws the ball 100 mph. Let Hank do his thing.
Free Hank. Free Hank! FREE HANK!!!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
What's that you say Mrs. Robinson? Hammerin' Hank has left and gone away?
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2 comments:
I have to say I disagree with a lot of what you have to say. Spending money doesn't win championships. Key players do and Johnny Damon is not worth the $ he is asking, nor is Godzilla (since he's all but broken). I like the moves we have made this year overall and you'll see when we win our second championship in a row!
I know your trying be funny, but thank god that Cash is in charge of the player moves and Henry's brother has stood up and shown the way!
Henry Stein is a bad dream of what King George was back in the Eighties and early nineties!
Not to mention what happened when George got the dollar signs back in his head after Stick conceptually started picking players with minds and heart instead of steroids and Rolls Royce's!
I hope Hank smokes more Marlboro's and shows up Drunk in my favorite bar and says he was pushed out of the family for all the wrong reasons!
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