Monday, May 6, 2013

Chris Nelson goes to Colorado with revenge and his Yankee future on the line

May 15 is David Adams Day in the Yankiverse. The first 5,000 fans will receive a bobbled David Adams contract, which has stuck him in Limbo (aka Scranton) until May 15, (aka David Adams Day.)

David Adams is currently hitting well and playing 3B for Scranton, which would had made him a Yankee now, but for the MLB rule that forbids teams from immediately resigning minor leaguers after they've been released. I don't understand the rule. Apparently, it stops teams from resigning players, a problem I didn't know existed. Good to know MLB is on top of things! Adams is ineligible until May 15. (By the way, conspiracy theorists: May 15 is also... David Adams birthday!)

Any day now, the Yankees could declare Ronnier Mustellier Day, and bring up the mysterious Cuban with the Michelin Man frame, who recently joined Scranton after "bruising" his thighs in a spring game more than a month ago. Listen: They had to be the worst thigh bruises in history. His legs must have looked like leather-strapped bananas. Hey, have any of the Yankee trainers down on Florida ever heard of putting ice on bruises? (Maybe the Steinboys cut ice expenditures from the budget; count your nickels, and the dimes will add up!). When the bruises have healed, Musty will give the Yankees another option at DH and 3B. Let's hope he doesn't run into any Scranton bleachers. Those things are nailed down, right?

Both developments mean that newcomer Chris Nelson, whom we rescued from the Rockies' scrap heap, has about one week to make his Yankee bones. He didn't do it this weekend, although in the 9th Sunday, he whacked a sharp liner to RF, which was caught. That's the problem with guys who hit sharp liners to right; sometimes, they're always getting caught.) This week, returning to Colorado, Nelson should rip apart his old team - proving they made a mistake. Or he won't. If he doesn't hit against Colorado in Colorado... why should we expect him to hit against anybody anywhere?

One of these days could be Kevin Youkilis Restoration Day in the Yankiverse. The first 5,000 fans will receive epidurals. And maybe Youk, too. Jeez, wjat's with all these injuries? Did they build the new Yankee Stadium on some cursed Dutch burial grounds?

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