Saturday, May 6, 2017

We are finally being rewarded for the juju pain unfairly inflicted over the last six years

Apparently, the juju gods have come around. 

Yesterday's win - down to a final strike, down by two runs, against the mighty World Champions, in their windy little bandbox, with Eddie Vedder and the ghost of Gene Siskel rooting for them - suggests that somewhere in the great, vast infuckdickulum, the shaved juju dice are finally rolling our way.

Suddenly, our Cashmanic, Steinbrennerian, Girardian team - once the olden, bloated chasers of wild cards - can do no wrong. Today, I (I) consider (sider) ourselves (selves) the luckiest (kiest) fans (ans) on the face (face) of the earth (erth.) 

So... we face a spiritual dilemma: How do we - as self-righteous, cynical, caustic, angry, bombastic, raging, bile-sputtering Yankee fans - cope with - gulp - a winning team?

I'll tell you how: BY LOVING IT, BABY! BY LOVING IT!

Over the last week, I've been exchanging in-game phone text messages with Alphonso and Mustang, working the juju gods like Pat Riley at mid-court. As a result, Aaron Judge is the new Trump Tower, Gary Sanchez has returned, and Gardy has become our de facto captain. (And nobody gives up on Greg Bird, you hear me? Nobody.) We could be seeing the birth of a great Yankee run. At my age, it may never again be a more promising time to root for the Yankees. 

So... how should we ride this juju pony? 

I am hereby proposing a regular OPEN GAME JUJU THREAD, into which we can sound off during actual Yankee games, pushing and prodding the juju gods to do the right thing. I will be among you, screaming making suggestions for these middle managemet excellent, all-knowing tacticians, via the comments section. If we're losing, we'll rip the bastards. If we're winning, we'll brown-nose them like Michael Kay interviewing Baron Trump's nanny on Center Stage. If you can, join us.

Note: This is an experiment. If the Yankees lose, we'll drop this like a cryogenically frozen gall bladder from Dorothy Kilgallen. We will take nothing for granted. In two weeks, this team could be a punch line, and we could be hanging Chase Headley's scrotum from the Governor's Cup in Scranton. But today, we are the golden haired boys of juju, and dammit, let's enjoy it. 

I invite you to sound off in the comments section during games. I will be there with you (unless the gods keep me from my computer.) Whatever the case, let's be smart. Let's be wise enough to enjoy this streak, while it lasts. We beat Boston in Boston. And yesterday, Gene Siskel gave the outcome two thumbs down. The Yankee moon is rising. Godot could be coming. IT MAY NEVER GET BETTER THAN THIS.

(Unless we lose today. If we lose today, fukkitall.)


Tom said...

great news and just what the world needs: a platform for the hysterical ups and downs of weirdly cycnical, insanely devoted Yankee fans. Perhaps we will be doing the world favor. Imagine, somewhere out in cyberspace the advance scouts of some hostile force looking to annex land for a new stadium stumbles across our rantings and reports back to its boss: "Nope. Nothing to see here."

13bit said...

By saying "if the Yankees lose," I pray you have not awakened wrath of those I will not name. I prefer your older strategy- from last week - of simply saying "our opponent is so good, why even suit up?" It's only May. We need to take it one game at a time." Don't get caught up in that deadly Juju smokescreen called "hope." Heed an old, lapsed Jets fan. Take it slow and don't live past tonight.

cabish47 said...

Uh oh. It's time for a hubris alert. Riding this high and winning so dramatically. I fear the fall when it comes will be colossal. Alphonso's Black Swan will be cackling. Hope I'm wrong but beware.

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

Don't any of you bastards dare watch it on TV. It's either WFAN, where I don't have to believe my own lying eyes, or nothing.

Anonymous said...


Alphonso said...

Which comments section? A new one constructed for this purpose?

Sounds like a good idea, since I cannot watch without venting and employing Ju-Ju, as needed.

There should be a special section of the blog for this.



Local Bargain Jerk said...


Mustang said...

Let's show some courage. If we're going to have game threads, we can't fold them up because the team loses. If we can't spit in fate's eye behind Aaron Judge and Gary Sanchez, we'll never be able to.

13bit said...

Whom the gods wish to destroy, first They slather with mayonnaise ...