Sunday, December 1, 2019

(A change of pace) Dear New York Football Giants, please, please, please, I beg of you... one favor...

Dear Giants, 

As a lifelong fan, let me say that I know you've suffered through a tough season. Not that we were surprised. What surprised me was your draft pick two years ago - a running back destined to be destroyed by the porous offensive line - and then an old-fashioned pocket QB this year, who would also be regularly clobbered. But bad drafts are a modern Giants tradition, no?

Along those lines, it probably doesn't matter what you do today. Come next spring, you'll draft a flashy wide receiver, as if you're one pick away from the Super Bowl. Thus, this is not an appeal to change. I know you cannot. I am merely begging you to do the honest thing today against Green Bay.


Be classy. Be forthright. Be truthful. You've pissed away another season. You are not just mathematically eliminated from the playoffs; you are psychically and spiritually exiled from the winning tiers of professional sports. You need not only a change of coaches, but a change of general manager and - most of all - a change of ownership. But we know that won't happen. You're the Giants.

You are the perfect definition of a dead organization, one that is historically cursed by the blind support of its fan base. Every home Giant game is a sell-out. Thus, you have no reason to fear seasons like this. Other franchises fight to survive in their markets. You simply take your place at the dinner table and load up with the gravy. Nothing ever changes.

Please, please, please... I beg of you... today, do the right thing: Lose. Show us the fundamental decency of running the table on the 2019 season - lose them all. Go 2-14, and next spring, maybe you'll draft second. It doesn't matter whether you use that pick on a punter - you'll do what you'll do - but at least the world will see you for what you are: A miserable franchise that needs to be changed from top to bottom.  

Please... lose, lose, lose. Don't insult us by winning some meaningless game in a horrible, long ago rotted season of despair, and then pretending that we would celebrate your victory. There are many myths about pro football. One of the biggest is that losing teams gather "momentum" in the final games of dreadful seasons. All they do is insult their fans, who want an end to the disaster, who was a reason for hope. 

Please, sirs... just lose. That's all. Fumble a kickoff. Drop a pass. Miss ten tackles. You can do it. I've seen you do it. You know how to do this.  

It's going to be many years before the Giants play in a Super Bowl again. I'm not sure I'll be around to see it. But I'll be damned if you think winning a game or two this home stretch of the season will be anything but an insult to Giant fans. You've had three years to show us something. You had one job. So now, you have a new one. Lose.


ranger_lp said...

The problem here is that when they pick GMs, they have to be people that ownership know. Gettleman was with the Giants organization in 1998. Unfortunately, John Mara knows very little about football compared to his dad and that's not going to be fixed.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Gettleman is one of the worst GMs in football. He ruined the Panthers and he made a bad situation with the Giants even worse. It's not enough that he is completely incompetent. On top of that he's an arrogant lying sack of shit. I never thought he would make me nostalgic for Jerry Reese.

We had two great GMs not that long ago: Ernie "Bad Toupee" Accorsi and the great George "Cryptic" Young. But as El Duque mentioned, the Giants ownership being what they are had to be forced to take Young because he was hand-picked by Peter Rozelle to shore up a bickering but once proud organization.

Time to fly those early aircraft with the banners behind them urging the Giants get rid everyone including themselves.

Alphonso said...

Yup.Yup. And Yup

I am glad to see that Duque has come around. The "move" that marked a five year death knell for the Giants was when Gettlefailure drafted barkley.

It shows he knows nothing about football

Actually, I think he is a mole for the Cowboys....and selected Saquon because they knew what would result;

And the beauty ( for them ) is that everyone loves Barkley. And he could help some teams at running back.

But not the giants.

His selection prevented us from drafting a hand-full of top quality offensive linemen and defensive players.

It was just like the Eli manning obsession; we could have he'd Big Ben without giving up a single draft pick.....and, of course, Philip Rivers.

But no...we needed " flashand dash"....and gave up years of competency to get him.

Eli did QB two amazing wins.....but Ben engineered more.

And that is not the point. In order to get those wins, we suffered years of humiliation before them, followed by more years of humiliation after them.

Right back where we are now.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Unfortunately, Ranger, Wellington didn't know enough about football because he let both Tom Landry and Vince Lombardi go within a few years and they never came back. The best offensive and defensive coaches arguably in the history of the NFL.

JimmyEatsHotDogs said...

Giants have a brain-dead owner who hires the wrong people and doesn't have to worry because the games are a sell out every year. The money rolls in so "what me worry?" This was the same problem Giants had back in 70' and into the 80's. Until the fans wise up not much will change because ownership doesn't give a shit about winning.

Anonymous said...

New York Giant Happy Thought #1

(1 of 1 congratulations on completing the set)

Next year they will have a ton of cap space and the number two pick which will be Chase Young (Unless Gettleman sees Hall of Fame Potential in a long snapper.)

Doug K.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Alphonso, even worse was not getting rid of Eli at the end of last season or before the deadline to save the 24 million they pay Eli this year. That could have gone a long way toward getting a couple of quality OL and addressed a few defensive shortcomings. I don't remember the Giants drafting a top-notch linebacker since Pepper Johnson.

Joe Willie said...

El Duque,

I have one word for you.......JETS , JETS , JETS.

JM said...

Jeter, Eli, CC...they just hung around too long.

Today, we don't have to wish for a Giants loss. The Packers will bury them.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Big Ben?

Worst era in NY sports ever. Even the awful, 1965-66 meltdown was short-lived. Most of those teams really were building or rebuilding. Within a couple more seasons, the Knicks, Jets, and Mets were all champions, and the Rangers made it nearly to the top. will be many years, maybe decades before any of the 9 teams around here wins a championship again.

TheWinWarblist said...

So Zurich. The Swiss are annoying and speak a marble-mouthed abortion of Hoch Deutsche. Raclette and fondue for dinner. It's like a wheel of stinky cheese is blowing a kazoo in the hotel room.

13bit said...

Beautiful and lyrical, Winnie.

As for this post, you'll soon be able to change "Giants" for "Yankees." We are on our way towards establishing the longest-running high salary crap dynasty in history. We'll spend almost as much as the other guys - but FAR LESS THAN WE USED TO as a percentage of our profits - and just remain in a state of perpetual mediocrity. This may go on for decades. You think I'm joking? Hal is young. Our only hope is for him to sell the team, possibly trash Cashman, but no guarantees we'd do any better, OR spend more money. He's a greedy pig. Cash is a piggish moron. Randy is a moronic pig.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So, New York's two "football" teams lost by a combined 19-53. To one team that had been slumping and lost 2 of its last 3, and to another one that had not won a game all season.


Anonymous said...

My Pack thanks the Giants for their hospitality; Pack felt right at home in all that beautiful snow. Now, please, Seattle, show those barbarians from Minneapolis the door tomorrow night. Perhaps Mr. Food Stamps would like to add the Giants to his sports empire... LB (No J)

13bit said...

Fuck football.
Fuck Brian
Fuck Hal.
Fuck "quality arms."
Fuck cheapness.
Fuck "trading for starters."
Fuck the stat wizards.
Fuck them all.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Peace on Earth, Good Will towards men 13 Bit. It's that time of year, No?

Ehhh, Fuck it.....nevermind!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Ah, didn't realize you were a Packers fan, too, LB no J.

I fear they are a little short this year (again), and while it galls me how often they don't advance far despite having one of the best quarterbacks in the game (for 25 years now), at least they are owned by the people. No HALs to blame!

TheWinWarblist said...

So much cheese ... so much fart ...

TheWinWarblist said...

Ein! Zwei! Drei! Fartpedo ... LOS!!

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