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Friday, December 6, 2019

If Hal Signs Gerrit Cole... the poem

I'll swim the Hudson, drink the Seine,
I'll dive the Great Blue Hole,
Yet never once will I complain,

If Hal signs Gerrit Cole.

I'll paint his house, I'll wax his car,
I'll dance about his pole,

He'll drink for free inside my bar,
If Hal signs Gerrit Cole.

I simply want to make it clear
With all that I control,
No taunts shall he from this clown hear,

If Hal signs Gerrit Cole.

I know I've dissed him in the past,
But that was just my role,
And I will kiss his pasty ass,

If Hal signs Gerrit Cole.

9 comments:

13bit said...

The Bard of Avon’s got nuttin’ on you, Duque.

Carl J. Weitz said...

If Hal does sign Gerrit Cole
In MLB, you'll know there's a mole
Working for Scott Boris the one without a soul
And he knows the commish's gonna raise the salary cap
And that Hal Z Steinbrenner suffers from a cheapskate's rap
So there's no need to keep being a cheap a'hole
Go on and sign Gerrit Cole!

Anonymous said...

A masterpiece! Very enjoyable.

I so hope it happens just so I can see you live up (?) to this part: "No taunts shall he from this clown hear". LOL

Brett

Anonymous said...

El Duque,

You have taken your place among the great Spanish named baseball themed poets of all time. Freddy Garcia Lorca could not have done better!


Brett,

Yeah that was the line that got me as well.

Doug K.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


If Cole becomes a NYY, how long duya think it'll be before he's on the IL for a coupla months?

JM said...

Joe, I hadn't thought of that.

Don't sign him!! For God's sake, don't!!

TheWinWarblist said...

Sign everything and everybody!!!

HoraceClarke66 said...

That was the best line in my book, too.

And Joe FOB, if that happens, well then we just call the Juju gods our daddy and let us go. At least we'll know that Coops was trying.

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