How should we process Dallas Keuchel's apology?

Dallas Keuchel shoulda been a Yankee. 

Not by lineage, or by that Disney, Lion King "destiny" drivel. Nothing Hollywood. But he shoulda been. Last summer, Keuchel was a free agent exactly when the Yankees were starving for pitchers, dying in desperation, yet the Steinbrenner formerly known as "Food Stamps" couldn't take out his wallet. We were outbid by Atlanta. 

Outbid. By Atlanta. 

(Note: Another reason Keuchel shoulda been a Yank: He's probably the player in baseball with the most to gain, photogenically, by joining a team that bans facial hair.)

But the biggest reason: What he knew. 

The 2019 Yankees fell to a team that cheated, on a HR that may have been off a telegraphed pitch. We'll never know. If Keuchel were in pinstripes - that is, if Prince Hal had simply opened his fanny pack - Keuchel might have warned his Yankee mates to listen for the bang of a garbage can, and then throw at the head. Who knows? 

But but BUT... Hal didn't unclench his loins, and the Yankees watched Keuchel go the Braves. As a result, come April 1, we can proudly raise the "2019 AL First-Runner-Up flag." 

But that's not why I've summoned you. Yesterday, Keuchel became the first Astro to publicly apologize for his team's pure malevolence. He said: 

"I think first and foremost, apologies should be in order ... for everyone on the team." 

Bravo. Trouble is, then Keuchel started tempering his remorse. 

"When the stuff was going on, it was never intended to be what it's made to be right now."

Okay, let's think about this. By "stuff... going on," he means the cheating, right? It was "never intended to be what it's made to be?" Well, that can be said of most criminal acts, eh? I bet jolly old Ken Lay of Enron - another Houston scandal, back in 2001 - could have said the same thing. As could every cheating bastard in history. I mean, what is Keuchel suggesting? That it was a schoolboy prank that got out of hand? Of course it wasn't intended to be a scandal. They never are. What was intended - I guess - was that they would get away with it. He continued...

"During the course of the playoffs in 2017, everyone was using multiple signs. For factual purposes, when there is no one on base, when in the history of baseball has there been multiple signs?"

Okay, so, if I'm getting this right... he's saying everybody should have assumed the Astros were cheating, and made adjustments. Or maybe they should've cheated too? Now, I do get this: There's an old saying, "If you're not cheating, you're not trying." But no matter how you spin this, visiting teams found themselves at a huge disadvantage when they came to Houston. The Astros had a room set up for breaking down signals. What an advantage. Then Keuchel lost me. He mentioned the whistle-blower.

"A lot of guys are not happy with the fact that Mike (Fiers) came out and said something, or the fact that this even happened. At the same time, there is some sorrow in guys' voices. ... This will be going on for a long time, but I'm sure in the back of guys' minds, this is still fresh... I don't think anyone is going to come out from other teams. They see what happens now."

Well, there it is: The real message. The ugly one, which almost comes as a threat. He's blaming the whistle-blower. It's Fiers' fault. 

Yep, here's the moral of the story: If you see something wrong, or illegal, or corrupt... keep it to yourself. What happens in the video room... stays in the video room. Just say nothing. Otherwise, you'll be letting down your teammates.  

This is a crappy time for whistle-blowers. But for whatever it's worth, I think Mike Fiers is a hero. I believe that next December, he should be Sports Illustrated's "Sportsperson of the Year." I think fans of every team - including the Astros - should thank the guy. He won't get a plaque in the Hall of Fame, but he might deserve an exhibit. He's not the guy who soiled MLB's reputation. He's the guy who just might have saved it. 

Lately, Fiers has been declining interviews. Maybe he's waiting to see what all the others say.  

So... Keuchel. I dunno what to make of him. Yeah, he apologized. And he's the only one, thus far. Let's give him credit for that. Still, it doesn't feel exactly heartfelt, does it? 

You get the sense that, for the Astros, all would be fine if this scandal hadn't happened. They were comfortable with cheating, because - well - it worked. I recall a line from Hunter S. Thompson: "In a world where everyone's a criminal, the only crime is getting caught."

Wait, wait, WAIT... You know what? I take it back! Keuchel shouldn't have been a Yankee, nor should he ever. You know why? Because I wonder:

Maybe he would have sat in the Yankee dugout, listening to the trash can, and kept quiet.