Wednesday, September 23, 2020

If Minnesota chases down the White Sox, the Yankees can confront their Great Mistakes of this new millennium.

Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the center-placed graphic located just below this lede, in the main IT IS HIGH concourse: 


Thank you.

As you see, the Death Star remains comfortably pillowed into 2nd place in the AL East, four games above the Buffalo Devil Jays with five remaining in this, the tiniest of seasons, which will lead to the longest set of playoffs ever.

For weeks now, the Yankees have diligently chased Minnesota for the No. 4 seed and home field advantage in the dazzlingly truncated first round. If the season ended today, we'd fall short by one measly game. Next Tuesday, while the presidential candidates debate, they'd be flying to the cold city of Jesse Ventura, Vince Vaughn and George Floyd, preparing for a three-game set.

But last night, the Chicago White Sox said, "Not so fast." The Sox have spent September atop the AL Central, but the dingy is leaking with one oar is in the water. They have blown three straight, while the Twinkies have won three. Minnesota is now one game behind Chicago. The Twins have four remaining, one with the tanking Tigers and three with the .500 Reds. Meanwhile, the White Sox must play two against the streaking Indians (three wins in a row) and three against the crosstown Cubs, a brutal end to their love-boat season. 

For weeks, I've gone Chicken Little about the Yankees facing Minnesota, our traditional sex toy, in October. For years, we've owned the Twins in the post-season. As we learned the hard way in 2004, these dominatrix relationships don't last forever. You cannot continually beat a good team, and the 2020 Twins are just that. If we face Minnesota in the best-of-three, be afraid. Be very afraid. They might have figured out a safe word. Killebrew? 

But wait, what's this... an escape porthole? If the White Sox continue to stumble, they will fall into second, and - holy crap - they become our first round opponent. And here's another one: If we can run the table on these last five games, we could steal home field advantage - forcing the Sox to learn the nuances of a stadium they haven't seen all year. Have you ever played LF in Yankee Stadium during the sunsets of October? Neither have the White Sox. 

Playing Chicago also would bring the Yankees face-to-face with their original sin of this millennium: Yoan Moncada. Every historical timeline over the last decade pivots on our cheap-ass refusal to outbid Boston for Moncada, who came from Cuba as one of the game's top prospects. Back then, we didn't think of Hal Steinbrenner as "Food Stamps." We just assumed - as everybody in MLB did - that the Son of George would fork over the cash and get out of the way. Instead, he hid under the bed, clutching his purse, while the Redsocks rebuilt their organization. They eventually converted Moncada into Chris Sale, who won a World Series and helped kill our chances in recent years.

In a perfectly wicked world, I would now toss out MVP-level stats for Moncada, prosecuting Hal with the righteous vengeance of a Fox News host. But Moncada's numbers this year are crapola - .221 with 5 HRs. (Last year, .315 with 25 HRs.) For now, we're better off with Gio Urshela (.289 with 6 HRs). Also, let's face it: Chris Sale is out until next June. This could be our chance to finally put the disaster of Moncada behind us.

One other Great Past Mistake we might also face: Dallas Keuchel has returned from the IL in time for the playoffs. Last July, he was ours for the taking - a free agent with no draft-pick baggage - if Hal's fanny-pack was ready. Who knows how Keuchel would have fared in the post-season against his old team, the cheating Astros, who had cut him loose rather than pay the money? Had he been a Yankee, might Keuchel have warned us about Houston's love of CF cameras? Might he have thrown, say, a shutout? 

Well, we can put all this behind us. If we have a choice, the answer is clear: Bring on the White Sox.

6 comments:

HoraceClarke66 said...

With a starting staff of Cole, Tanaka, Happ, and Keuchel, I would have made us even money against anybody, even the TB Rays and the Dodgers.

But that's Cashman's Yankees. For want of a nail, the battle is lost over and over again.

Anonymous said...

White Sox would give us even more problems than the Twinkies, IMO. They have a boatload of hitters who feast off our pitching. They have a guy, Giolito or something or other, who we couldn't hit in our dreams. Keuchel used to give us fits, I don't know if that will continue. I don't feel too eager to find out. Either way, it's pick your poison. Anyone can win 2 out of 3, for sure. I don't feel confident about our chances against either team. If I had to make a prediction, I'd say we're getting bombed out of the first round.

The Hammer of God

JM said...

It's a good thing we have all these pitchers clogging up the roster. Yes, sir, they're really worth the space.

steve said...

I can't agree with this article more...but let's not forget to get rid of Mr. Rogers Boone and get a real manager. Oh ... I forgot, a REAL manager won't wear the Cashman puppet strings. Billllly ... come back to us ... if only.

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