Monday, February 13, 2023

And now a word from our sponsor…

I’ll start with this… 

Yes, it was absolutely delightful to watch the Philadelphia Eagles lose in excruciating fashion. I dislike that city so much that I rooted for Apollo Creed in “Rocky”.

Truth is, if I were alive in 1776 I might have begrudgingly rooted for the British. If only to stop Ken Howard from singing. (Loved him in the White Shadow though.) 

Philly, a town named after female horses, is a place so vile, so filled with classless and moronic fans, that it is my third least favorite sports city in America.

I hate all their teams. The 76’ers wouldn’t agree to let the Nets into the NBA as part of the NBA/ABA merger unless they gave them Julius Erving. Flyer’s fans booed Santa Claus…

OK, so they lost on a late holding call. Karma! I’ve yet to read that, on the play where Mahomes was reinjured, it sure looked to me that the guy that tackled him gave his leg an extra twist. 

 As the great W.C. Fields once said about Philadelphia, 
“Philadelphia? Fuck that place.” Or something like that.

So yeah, I’m glad they lost. But this post isn’t about the game. This is about the commercials.


The Super Bowl is the only show on television where I’m forced to take a piss during the actual program so that I don’t miss the commercials. The triumph of American Capitalism. Buying a magazine to read the ads. Seven million dollars a pop and that doesn’t include all the millions they pay for celebrity cameos that barely register.

There were two that I liked… Bradley Cooper and his Mom because it seemed sort of genuine and the NFL: Run With It one with the flag football playing girl. Especially when her mom tried to sucker her.

The Planters: Roast of Mr. Peanut started so well but died. They should have let Jeff Ross just do the whole thing.  As an aside, my favorite Jeff Ross insult of all time, “Cloris Leachman is so old… Shakespeare used to do HER in the park.”

I kinda liked the Mets one. Had that old SportsCenter feel. Plus, Steve Cohen is going for it. Gotta respect it.

The rest? Pretty much meh. However, there were three that pissed me off.

The Caddyshack Ones

Why did they do these?  Caddyshack came out in 1980. I mean I could see it if were an ad for cocaine, but Michelob ULTRA? It was also the perfect example of paying big bucks to celebs to be semi recognizable. That was Tony Romo pretending to be Bill Murray, right? Here's a tip. Don't parody parody. 

John Travolta Singing About T-Mobile

I would rather see Horshack singing about Mucinex or Ken Howard singing about writing the Declaration of Independence and we all know how I feel about that. Plus, I used to like the show Scrubs. They really need to stop overexposing  Zach Braff and Donald Faison. They’re starting to veer into Flo territory.

He Gets Us

The "Angry" one. I take no issue with the concept of selling a religion. The ads were well done and made a good point. 

What pisses me off is that the people behind it includes the Hobby Lobby guy who has done a lot to foster and foment the anger they were showing to begin with. Hobby Lobby was the winner in the, "Corporations are people" and "Money = Speech", Supreme Court decision that opened the floodgates to the predominance of "dark money" in our political system.  Not a fan.  


That’s about it. 

My only take away from Rihanna’s half time show was that we’ve come a long way from the June Taylor Dancers.

Well, football season is over and all that’s left between now and the Yankee Spring Training opener is a few Josh Hart infused Knick games and looking up who the Russian guy is the Rangers just traded for.  

I’m ready.  




DickAllen said...

And this just in from the Here We Go Again Department:

"Major League Baseball is making it permanent: In all regular season extra-inning games moving forward, a runner will be placed on second base to begin the 10th inning, and in every subsequent extra inning after that, until a winner is determined..."

el duque said...

Liked the clam-flavored M&Ms but had heard about it beforehand and expected it to be funnier. Do people understand the concept of wrecking a punchline?

Ads for a bunch of movies I won't see.

JM said...

Since I didn't watch the game (mostly) I missed the commercials (mostly). I used to care when I was working in advertising for a lifetime, but now, I see silliness reigns and a really good spot that makes a point is impossible to find most days.

Although since SB commercials are only entertainment with a logo slapped on somewhere, I did like the NFL Lopez spot. That was pretty cool. And Blue Moon, whose commercials usually make me vomit, didn't make me vomit.

Chalk one up for progress.

JM said...

Dick, they're fucking up the game. For no good reason, really. It's not like the ghost runner, the bigger bases, and the shift ban are going to bring more people to the sport. That's what the clowners-that-be hope for, but it's not going to happen.

Here's to Joey Gallo having a hell of a year, though.

Mildred Lopez said...

Aaaaannnnd...Nestor tweaked a nut.

JM said...

Oh, just a grade 2 (or whatever) hamstring problem. He expects to be ready for Opening Day, which in Yankees terminology means sometime in September.

Two down, three to go. That starting rotation is getting thinner all the time...

Doug K. said...

May be a face saving "injury". So he doesn't have to go.

Doug K. said...


The ghost runner gives the networks more control over length of the game. Reduces the odds of needing more extra innings. Also makes EI more exciting.

The shift ban is because, player after player hitting into the shift while the fans are screaming, "bunt you idiot!" isn't good for the game.

The Archangel said...

Nothing to worry about with Nestor, it's just a hamstring and he hurt it running sprints before the opening of ST, so there is no reason to think to it will be a constant problem all season, plus the Yankee brass is in full disclosure mode much like the current administration, so just chill.

Yankee injuries seem to go on and on, much like my run-on sentences.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Agree totally, JM-Dick-Doug. The permanent Manfred Man is a travesty. And just wait until the bigger bags cause a host of injuries.

America today is all about fucking up good things to appease the stupidest among us. The sheer bombast of the Super Bowl demonstrated that. Again. At one point the announcers noted that "The Chief have only run 9 plays in the last hour-and-thirty-five minutes."

Uh, yeah. Because about half that time was spent on idiot commercials, for mindless sequels to mindless movies ("Vin Diesel drops a car out of a plane! Indiana Jones is back!").

The only one that really stood out for me, because of it's sheer looniness, was the one with the giant rabbits. Kinda fun...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Also...and I write this fully realizing that I've always opposed bringing politics to this site, and discouraged others from doing it...

After watching a pregnant woman repeatedly rub her genitalia while rotating before a packed stadium in primetime, I never want to hear anyone from Fox News tell me about the deteriorating morality of my country again.

I understand: There are plenty of hypocrites and extremists on both sides when it comes to the culture wars. But really: Fox gave that the okay? The shut the fuck up, Rupe.

The Archangel said...

You're right HC66, we should keep politics out of this.
Because the Fox Networks's content is different than the Fox News commentary.

Actually, if you think her display was out there, it was tame compared to what our grandkids are exposed to every day

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuck the He Gets Us people. Jesus loved everyone! Even violent intolerant fascists! You should love them too! Even when they are victimizing an at risk population!

Yeah, fuck that neo-nazi skinhead billionaire divisive propaganda.

TheWinWarblist said...

As the great W.C. Fields once said about Philadelphia,
“Philadelphia? Fuck that place.” Or something like that.

Now that's poetry. "A rose by any other name ... Philadelphia? Fuck that place.”

HoraceClarke66 said...

I agree, Archie, and I regret violating my own rule.

I do have trouble taking the firewall between Fox News and Fox Network seriously. Like the old Austro-Hungarian Empire, Fox exists ultimately in the person of one man. And that man was sitting right there, watching from the best seat in the house.

But I admit, there are plenty of hypocrites to go around.

The Archangel said...

Pitchers and Cather start this week, so let's stop politics.
Last point,
HC66, Rupert doesn't run the Fox News media empire anymore. He ceded that to his sons.
I believe that Lachlan is now the boss. Point your disdain towards him.
Winny, vitriol does you no service. Moreover it is counter-productive, as Jesus tried to point out.
I, for one, would substitute ANTIFA for the people you disdain. I, personally would open up machine-gun fire every time the little Upper-Middle class vermin start to destroy stuff. But hey, that's me and I won't stew on it. Hopefully, they contribute something to society by spending their parents' money on American made products, but I'm more inclined to believe they spend it on tuition for their multi-year careers as perpetual college students.

Now, let's put aside our politics and come together in an Up with People moment and discuss that upon which we all agree,
Hal is a piece of wasted protoplasm, Cashman is a feminine hygiene product and Boone is a Nepo dolt.

The Archangel said...

That should be "catchers" above.
My proofreader has been dully executed in a most horrible fashion.

BTR999 said...

Archie, I read “Pitchers and Catheters”…thanks for the (unintended) laugh