Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Searching for meaning in a meaningless game


Now appearing in Tampa, the Star Trek Next Generation Yanks: Anthony Volpe, Jasson Dominguez and Spencer Jones.

The thirtysomethings are taking in the Dali Museum and coughing through the red tide. The restless crowd last night should demand their money back: They didn't even get to boo Josh Donaldson and Aaron Hicks.

If there's fresh cause for concern, it's Luis Severino, who gave up four earned runs in two ragged innings to a Tigers lineup led by the magical Akill Baddoo, only a few syllables shy of The Babadook. Before last night, our Sevy worries had have centered around his health: Can he deliver, say, 150 innings? (He gave us 102 last year.) It never crossed my mind that he might suck. 

Fortunately, the distance between Feb in Tampa and Oct in NY stretches beyond a trip to Alpha Centari. As meaninglessness goes, last night's outing lacks special meaning.

That said, some notes to be noted:

Dominguez, aka The Martian, reached base twice in two appearances. Dare we dream that he is one of those rare human beings - like Ted Danson and Lady Gaga - who rise to special occasions? No matter what happens this spring, The Martian is destined for Double A Somerset. Still, it's nice to see a kid make the most of his camera time. 

Volpe took the collar and Jones - he of the deep, deep depth chart - has yet to hit a ball this spring. That's okay. Volpe is playing with house money. And Jones is merely here to attack the lunch buffet and figure out the shower settings. 

One other interesting name: potential RH bullpen lug nut Ian Hamilton, 27, who fanned two in a shutout inning. He's bounced around the White Sox and Twins farms for seven years, with a 3.61 ERA last season at Triple A. He pitched in one game for Minnesota - got cuffed around, gave up two runs. He's likely destined for Scranton - assuming his contract doesn't have an escape clause - but here's the deal: Between now and opening day, somebody just like him will emerge to fill that last Yankee bullpen slot. The bullpen might look locked down for now. But gonads will be tweaked, and slots will open. Two strikeouts in three batters? That's a start. (I should note that a similar entity - 29-year-old James Norwood - also fanned two in a scoreless eighth. By then, he was facing the 2026 Tigers. Even the Babadook was gone.) 

12 comments:

Celerino Sanchez said...

Doesn't look like Jack Bauer is going to save the day, but Haystacks Calhoun seems to be stepping up.

AboveAverage said...

Has anybody noticed that Boone doesn’t seem any smarter this year?

I would have thought a few well-placed, off-season implants would have done the trick.

Shame.

mik said...

Boone doesn’t seem any smarter this year.

That made me think, any chance Hal could see if ChatGPT could manage the team this year? An artificial intelligence chatbot may work out better. After all, Boone is just a front for analytics inputs and our ChatGPT manager may have a better personality.

BTR999 said...

TBH, I gave up on Severino a few years ago. His extension was yet another egregious error that cashmsn gets no blame and takes no responsibility for. He’s done here after this year.

AA, boone will never get smarter. The sewage of stupidity pools in his brain and leads to ever worsening decisions which he, like cashman, takes no blame for.

I’ll go out on a limb and say Spence Jones will make contact this Spring. Just not sure when.

It is tough watching some of these games with players you’ve never heard of wearing astronomical numbers. Someone told me that prospect Juan Undred is insisting he be allowed to wear 100 as his number, breaking the tri-numeral barrier.

JM said...

Undred should go for 99.9. Though there is something to Rufus' suggestion. 6B has a nice ring to it.

Boone doesn't seem any smarter this year because he isn't. But golly gee willikers, what a nice guy. The players love him.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be a perpetual PR mouthpiece? Never saying anything honest and shutting down your critical thinking every time another human being is around?

What a shitty job.

ranger_lp said...

We haven't visited negative numerals for uniforms...

Doug K. said...

Or Roman numerals.

Maybe Ben Rortvedt could be IV.

AboveAverage said...

And Stanton could be IL

edb said...

Unfortunately, Sevi wil get hurt. Wow! Jake Bowers and his .183 batting average in the minors. That Genius can really pick them.

HoraceClarke66 said...

We're rolling now, guys!

Saw a Jones at-bat the other day. He did not look good.

BTR999 said...


This, of course, is not what booone said last week, from this morning

"Wells has been out of action early in Spring Training after sustaining a bone bruise while warming up on Feb. 15. Though he was nearing a return, the Yankees instead sent him for another MRI on Feb. 28 after he felt some discomfort while receiving treatment. Manager Aaron Boone said Wells is "not doing much yet," as the club awaits the results of his latest MRI."(Last updated: Feb. 28)

"not doing much yet, in boone-speak generally means the 60 day IL

The Hammer of God said...

Guys, we have a prospect named JUAN UNDRED? Good God, I had to read that name over several times. The first time I saw it, I thought it said Juan Undead. (Too many zombie movies, too much of "The Walking Dead" perhaps.)

Man alive, I want to see this guy make the team. Forget #100, he should be assigned a special initial: "UD".

What fun would we have with this guy's name! I can hear the home run calls for this guy already. "When it's Juan, it's dead and gone!" "Tyler Glasnow, meet the Undead!" "Run for your lives, here ... comes ... the Undead!"