Trust me on this. By the 23rd century, if man is still alive, if woman can survive, all of those as rich as the Steinbrenners will be living in luxurious, isolated bowers named for the Wizard of Oz, or possibly in vast underground paradises.
The seas will be ruled by ocean liners full of ruthless pirates, captained by a drunken Dennis Hopper. If they're not just bubbling cauldrons of sulphur. Nobody will want to take out the luxury yacht.
I have seen the future on our big screens, and it's not pretty.
Nevertheless, Hal goes on playing the long game. Incredibly, even with Aaron Judge out for what will surely be weeks, he refuses to bring up Spencer Jones, who unexpectedly rediscovered his swing and is tearin' up the pea patch in Triple-A.
Why? Because bringing up Jonesy might cost the Yankees a few months of control over him, five years down the road. Just as bringing up The Martian last year might have cost the Yankees a few months of control, if and when he ever became a star.
Brilliant.
Who knows if there will even BE baseball five years down the road, after Hal bands with his brother owners to rip up the basic agreement and go after the players' union yet again?
In the meantime, there went any shot at the World Series last year. There it goes this year.
At the same time, Hal sticks firmly to his Monty Burns rule of never, ever benching or trading or releasing a player if you still have to pay him. Better to pay him to make your team worse.
Thus, the obviously fading Goldschmidt and the obviously flailing Ben Rice cannot be traded or cut or sat, even with a perfectly viable replacement, T. J. Rumfield, fielding and hitting very well down in Scranton. Rumfield, you'll remember, might have been able to move freely around first base in last year's Fall Classic, and thus prevented the Fifth Inning Fiasco. But no could do. Every self-destructive inning had to be squeezed out of a once-proud pro.
Truly, Hal, you're not even going to notice the money you may lose on having to pay Spencer Jones sometime in the Laura Loomer administration (No doubt in crypto, or perhaps wampum.). In the meantime, we don't need another injury-prone mediocrity filling in for one of the greatest stars to ever play the game.
Give us hope. Give us a chance. Give us a !%@# break, you ungodly rich nepo baby!
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5 comments:
Tj Rumfield? Come on now. He may field better than Rice who’s still learning 1b but I see nothing to suggest Rumfield would hit better. I do agree on running the Jones hot streak out there.
You tell em Hoss.
Hal = Scrooge
But with no happy ending
Hal is an American oligarch in 2025
Are we talking about Ben Rice or Jim Rice? Ben had a terrific 30 games in Scranton last year, after which he came up and hit .171 in the show, with a .613 OPS. He's improved this year—but only to .228/.777.
I don't know why that performance should make him impervious to challenge from the next guy coming up the ladder—especially when Rumfield is turning in his second straight excellent year in Triple-A (.292/.826; .312/.897, both years with power).
Thing is, none of this is base on logic or demonstrated reality. Some of Brian Cashman's "baseball people" convinced him that, against all evidence, Rice is the Yanks' first baseman of the future, and Rumfield is not. Maybe they're right—maybe they're not.
But rather than put their belief to the test, or trade Rumfield for something else needed, T.J. rots in Triple-A, lest he should pop up somewhere else and embarrass poor Cashie.
This happens over and over, and it's a big reason why the Yanks can't ever quite get over the top.
Indeed, Bitty. And like all American oligarchs today, there is no compensating transcontinental railroad/light bulb/Model T, etc. He simply maximizes yearly profits, with no greater vision for the public, the game, or even his own business.
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