Dangerous Times

This morning El Duque pointed out the absurdity of what we witnessed last night. Ten runs being scored without home runs. Something our analytic gurus have explained is no longer possible.

He may be correct that it is a space time or biblical level event that will usher in the apocalypse.

But, there’s another possible explanation.

One far more sinister.

One that has been lurking in the background since the 1930’s and is once again threatening its ugly head and threatening, not the fabric of the universe, but something far, far more dangerous… the American Way of Life ®.

Creeping Socialism. ®

The World Series® and therefore, America Itself®, is under attack. The idea that baseball is no longer beholden to a few John Galt level superstars. No longer beholden to launch angles and probabilities foisted upon us by analytical technocrats who claim to know what is best for the game… And for us. The T-Mobilization® of the world.

Creeping Socialism®

Last night the Brewers showed that games in the soon to be re-named One-World World Series® can be won by grinding it out. Everyone in it together. Sacrifice.

Giving up the body, like that great catch by Sal Frelick in the top of the fifth. Sal Frelick? There’s a commie name if I’ve ever heard one. Jacob Misiorowski? 

Prove me wrong!

This was a win for the men and women who fill the beer halls in Milwaukee not the luxury suites in the Tropicana Field. (Do they have luxury suites there? That is one crappy stadium. I’m surprised that the lights work.)

Yes, it was nothing short of a revolution taking place at Tropicana Field®.

Tropicana Field®! Birthplace of Anita Bryant®.  The very home of orange juice in concentrated form. Tubed and shipped fresh to your grocer. America’s Other Breakfast Beverage ®

Creeping Socialism. ®

I heard talk on a hot mike in the dugout about a Two-Strike Approach! Approaching a STRIKE. The number one tool in the Commie/Socialist playbook.  

The Brewers style of play sends a dangerous sub-conscious message to us all. We don’t need the Three True Outcomes® to win. We can do it by working together and getting back to fundamentals.

You know, Creeping Socialism®

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All of the above said… Don’t worry. The American Way® is safe.

In a month’s time the owners will meet and decide to lock out the workers in an attempt to bust the player’s union. (Yay!)

They will seek to cap salaries. (Yay!)

They will seek to remove the advantages given to the uber-wealthy teams and create a more equitable distribution of money to…  

"Wait a minute!"you say.  "A more equitable distribution of money? That’s Creepin…'

No… it’s OK.

They are creating a more equitable distribution of money… among themselves. 

Good old fashioned collusion by the owners to deny the workers a higher wage.  

Thanks to American heroes like Hal Steinbrenner and soon to be convicted billionaire fraudster Mark Walter the game will return to the real Three True Outcomes®.  

Taxpayer subsidized stadiums.

Tax deductions to corporations for luxury suites.

And

Using gaslighting and myth to convince fans that raising ticket, parking, and concession prices while at the same time lowering their expenses by paying the players less is the only way the game can survive.

Whew!