Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Other ways for Bryce Harper to tell a reporter, "That’s a clown question, bro."

That's what he said. This is what he meant.

"Dearest sibling, your inquiry more befits a face-painted pantomime jester."

"Your query is devoid of the rightful seriousness worthy of this non-circus occasion, oh bone marrow donor."

"That is a matter whose red nose and exaggerated shoesize render it meaningless, aside from comic relief, my fellow offspring."

"Your answer deserves to come in the form of a honk, you biological copy cow."

1 comment:

JM said...

Clowns are wrongly slighted. Saying something is a clown comment actually means it embodies the juxtoposing emotions of jollity and tears, as exemplified by the great Charles Chaplin. Whose song, 'Smile', I must point out, was the exit music of the recent Cult concert here in NYC, as sung by the heartbreaking Judy Garland. I believe Judy is appreciated by even someone as august as A-Rod, although he is not gay, as many old-line Judy fans may think given his mirror photo shoot a few years back. Clowning is an ancient and respected art that comprises the whole of the human emotional range into its inflatable-footed and honking-nose persona. To think that a right-thinking major league baseball player, no doubt the beneficiary of a university education, would otherwise imply in such a comment is both demeaning to MLB player stature and the individual in question. We can only be shamed by those who take the low road on this topic.