Friday, June 15, 2012

Ralph Nader to the Yankees: "Have you no mercy on your play-calling broadcasters?"

Ralph Nader — the once-relevant consumer fighter whose ego and useful-idiocy gave the world President George W. Bush — is targeting the Yankees’ relentless conveyor belt of in-game radio commericials.

In a letter to Randy Levine and Brian Cashman, Nader lists 22 ads that "disrupt the flow and excitement of the game broadcast and undermine your responsibilities as a guardian of the national pastime," according to the NY Times.

Of course, he is right. Every Yankee fan knows this. But to say the ads "disrupt" Yankee broadcasts is like saying the Atlantic Ocean is moist. The non-stop  ads are so disgracefully greedy — so over-the-top pure evil, (driven by Jeep) — that we can only ridicule them.

Whenever a Yankee is safe at second, you have a 30-second window to ponder the fall of civilization, while John reads his New York Life copy.

What’s amazing here is the team's tone deaf response: "It is always a surprise who tries to grab some publicity around a Subway Series."

Gee. Criticize the Yankees, and they personally attack you? They must not feel safe and secure. 

Listen: Nader is a punch line. He pooped his pants in 2000, and nobody will or should ever forgive him. When he talks about running for president, it's like Lindsay Lohan vowing sobriety. The way his eyes wander and shine, he looks just a few bath crystals shy of a UFO cult. (Still, dammit, it’s nice to know he’s a Yankee fan.) But he's right. I wish more celebrity Yankee fans would raise hell about this. Where are you, Bill O'Reilly and Keith Olbermann? This is the issue that could unite us all. 

The ads are beyond tiresome. They are insulting. The pitching matchup (Chock Full o’ Nuts), the pitch count, (5-hour Energy), the rally moment of the game (Rally BMW), the game-time temperature (Peerless Boilers), the National Anthem (Mutual of America Life Insurance), the call to the bullpen (Honda), the 15th out (Geico). They would hawk urine if they could.

"Have you no boundaries or sense of restraint?" Nader’s letter says. "Have you no mercy on your play-calling broadcasters?"

By the way, that last question came in at 90 miles per hour. If you want high-speed Internet, Time-Warner Cable...

Nader claims he grew up in Connecticut listening to Mel Allen "when the commercials were reserved for the commercial breaks-between half-innings." That’s a pink-glass memory. Yankee home runs were "Ballantine Blasts." Still, there is nothing like this crap:

"Tonight’s umpire alignment sponsored by Levy, Phillips and Konigsberg, a leader in asbestos litigation. If you or a loved one suffers from lung cancer or mesothelioma, call 1-800-MESOLAW or visit"


Mustang said...

You're right. They even sell the National ANthem. "Tonight's salute to America is brought to you by Mutual of America."

jdp said...

As long as they spent the money on players I didn't mind. But now avoiding the luxury tax is more important than winning.