Tuesday, September 9, 2014

It is high, it is far, it is INTERCEPTED: Jersey Giants unveil new Yankee offense

For any Yankee fans who were hoping to find respite from this lost, Igawa-esque. '14 season by following the team's traditional doppelganger franchise of the NFL, the NY Foosball Giants - well - last night, we received a loud and boisterous message:

Don't. Look. Here.

I won't belabor this. Life is too short. This year - perhaps this decade - shall not be remembered happily for the diversion known as "New York sports." We will need something new - quilting, birding, bee-keeping - I dunno. Something new. (I hear they are revamping "The View?")

Insert sigh here.

As a kid, I assumed that the Giants would be the "Yankees" of pro football. They had great stars - Gifford, Rote, Robustelli, Katcavage, Huff, Greer, etc. - and every year, they challenged for the NFL championship. Vince Lombardi ran the offense. Tom Landry ran the defense. So... who did Jim Lee Howell pick to be his successor? Why... Allie Sherman, the team clipboard! And eventually, the NFL fulfilled its greatest wish: The league never had a "Yankees."

Nope. The Mara family would never be confused with the Steinbrenners. Say what you wish about old George, but never made peace with the profits of mediocrity. The Maras, on the other hand, happily banked the money and bought bigger boats. If you wanted a team run by someone obsessed with winning - well - you had to look to Dallas, which most Giants fans viewed a revolting prospect.

The Giants went practically 20 years without a burp of contention, and they finally became a power - briefly - by drafting Lawrence Taylor with the second overall pick, and two years later taking Carl Banks with the third. Thus, they rose the old-fashioned way, by being horrible for an extended period, and finally latching onto talent through the draft. You know - the way the Tampa Bay Rays did it in baseball. (And maybe the way the Yankees will, under the new MLB rules.) 

So... last night, the Giants opened their season with a microcosm of the Yankees' year: Three and out. Three and out. Three and out. Isn't that the Yankee batting order? Three and out. How does John Sterling put it? He says, "One-two-three go the Yankees in the bottom of the first..."

Insert sigh here.

BTW, the Giants scored twice. Does that sound familiar?

How long before hockey starts? Anybody know anything about that new lineup of "The View?"


John M said...

Personally, I'm going to start haranguing people in bars to take a position in the early-1930s Russ Columbo-Bing Crosby debate. That's always a good one.

Russ Columbo, by the way, never sang a duet with David Bowie.

el duque said...

Be careful, dissing Bing.

People get hurt, dissing Bing.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I'm assuming the duet with Bowie was a positive El Duque, LOL!

No positives for the Giants last night, stomach turning from start to finish,,,,,, Hey, it's Opera season guys, time to pony up for a Ring Cycle Legends Suite!!!!

John M said...

Hey, I love der Bingle, especially the Paul Whiteman and early 30s stuff.

Columbo was darn good, though. Gotta say it.