KISS of death: The aging rocker video tribute claims Jeter

Rock provides craggy old men little comfort zone. (Old ladies, far less, BTW.) A few scions - Clapton, McCartney, Neil Young - somehow pull it off. But then you see Alice Cooper wrapping his gin-addled brain around golf, or Ted Nugent spouting racial slurs, or anything involving the lead singer of Creed, and you realize Jimi Hendrix knew exactly what he was doing. Seriously, how many DWIs can Billy Joel get? And when Paul Simon fights his wife, why do we think she's the Ray Rice?

Well, KISS is jumping on the Derek Jeter bandwagon, because Gene Simmons is the Steiner Collectibles of rock. He'd dedicate a song to toe jam if there was a market in it. But there is no song. What there is on the YES Network site is a 15-second pop-up commercial and then 20 seconds of the band chanting "Der-ek Je-ter," and then yelling what a great guy he is. Touching. I'd post the video directly, but trust me on this, you don't want to see it.

I think phenomena like the ice bucket challenge - and maybe now this - are giving us a glimpse of the end of the world: Aging celebrities will post videos. We'll spend our final moments waiting for the Mick Jagger clip to load.